New Law Requires Citizens to Provide Proof of Life Annually
Under the terms of the Continuity Assurance Act, all adult United States residents must now report annually to an online Personal Verification Clinic (PVC) to… Read More
Under the terms of the Continuity Assurance Act, all adult United States residents must now report annually to an online Personal Verification Clinic (PVC) to… Read More
In a partnership described as “demographically inevitable,” the Rolling Stones farewell tour will be sponsored by NorthShore GoSupreme Lite protective underwear. Under the agreement, special… Read More
A new study released by the Center for Preventable Content Creation (CPCC) in San Francisco found that 87 percent of Americans are just one minor… Read More
Shirt You Never Wear Day is observed each year by people who own at least one shirt or top they have kept for a decade,… Read More
The stars regret to inform you that this week’s forecast was damaged during routine celestial handling. According to the Department of Astrological Maintenance, predictions were… Read More
A moment of silence for the lunch you thought was waiting for you. The rice was innocent, which somehow made it worse.
Few disappointments rival the letdown of Leftovers Surprise Day, observed by people who have ever opened the refrigerator expecting to see a righteous snack and… Read More
Dead Houseplant Amnesty Day is marked by small, private rituals: the removal of desiccated stalks from their pots, a moment of silence for the succulent… Read More
The universe runs out of Tuesday afternoon, forcing helpless citizens to sing for their financial survival to an upside-down man.
A computational error within the Department of Linear Duration caused the universe to run out of time between two o’clock and four o’clock on Tuesday… Read More