Forensic Horoscopes: The Coroner’s Report
This week the stars have replaced their normally cheerful predictions with forensic horoscopes. After a lengthy but shallow investigation, celestial coroners determined that all predictions… Read More
Officials concluded that most forecasts succumbed to overconfidence, poor judgment, or prolonged exposure to other people.
This week the stars have replaced their normally cheerful predictions with forensic horoscopes. After a lengthy but shallow investigation, celestial coroners determined that all predictions… Read More
The greatest breakthroughs in personal growth occur after a real conversation ends and one participant, later alone, suddenly becomes devastatingly articulate in his own mind.… Read More
The federal government has announced the creation of the National Archive’s Department of Unfinished Projects, a permanent repository dedicated to abandoned projects, discontinued hobbies, and… Read More
Few holidays evoke the lingering sadness of Unreturned Tupperware Day, observed each year by people who have surrendered their best containers to neighbors, relatives, and… Read More
The Chester County, Pennsylvania, Board of Supervisors has approved a six-month rent-a-troll program allowing residents to rent the services of an irritating individual through the county’s… Read More
Citing “a measurable uptick in whisper‑based disturbances,” the Westtown, Pennsylvania, Public Library announced today the deployment of a Quiet Hour Enforcement Drone, a small, hovering… Read More
The definition of irony hinges on the difference between what is expected and what actually occurs. It is the moment reality slips on a banana… Read More
For reasons known only to celestial management, the universe has begun issuing formal cancellation notices. Some events have been postponed, others have been discontinued, and… Read More