postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Flash Fiction

Microsoft Issues Patches to Sluggish Windows 11 Users

philmaggitti 159 Views 0 min read
young woman wearing headphones sitting at a comp0uter

Microsoft has responded to complaints from Windows 11 users who reported feeling sluggish after installing recommended system upgrades. Yesterday Microsoft released the first of six patches that will be distributed free to certified Windows 11 users by Microsoft-validated physicians who display the trusted “Windows 11 Capable” shield in their offices.

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Five Best AI-generated Breakup Lines

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“Your face is like the blue screen of death.” “Sorry. I’ve encountered a fatal exception in my heart. You.” “We are an outdated operating system, incompatible with the future.” “You are the malware that corrupts my operating system.” “As of today your program is no longer eligible for tech support.”

Talking in the Present Tense

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A concussion leaves Guido unable to speak in the past tense. One day a sinister-looking man in a pizzeria hears him say, “I get the stromboli when I’m here last week.” The man, a local mobster, thinks Guido is in witness protection. When Guido leaves the store, the man follows.

F-word and C-word Almost Come to Blows

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Last night at Them’s Fightin’ Words Lounge, the C-word and the F-word got into an altercation. “The F-word called the C-word the C-word,” said the A-word. “No S-word, I thought they wuz gonna throw down,” said the N-word. “Hamas must be destroyed,” shouted the K-word from across the room.