REDMOND, Wash. – Microsoft announced yesterday that it will offer surplus upgrade copies of its newest operating system, Windows Vista, “free to good homes.”
An official at Microsoft said the company had decided to take this unprecedented step because there are too many copies of Vista upgrades getting underfoot and running up boarding fees in warehouses across the country.
“Vista has outgrown that cute little puppy stage,” said the official. “Lots of people want an operating system when it’s a puppy, and we had no trouble selling Vista upgrades in the weeks following its January 30 debut; but once an operating system hits that gangly stage and its flaws become noticeable, consumers lose interest.”
Indeed, many consumers prefer to acquire an adult operating system, one that’s already been altered and housebroken, rather than go through the hassle of raising and training a new operating system. That’s why computer giant Dell has begun allowing customers to choose between Windows Vista or its predecessor, Windows XP, when they buy a new computer.
The first Vista free-to-good-homes ads are expected to appear on websites and bulletin boards—as well as in chatrooms and forums—around the Internet this week. A source at Microsoft cautions, however, that consumers should not expect to do “whatever they damn well please with Vista” simply because the operating system is being given away.
“There will still be a one-installation-per-owner restriction enforced,” said the source, “and the usual activation requirements will be in effect. Furthermore, free copies of Vista cannot be used for commercial purposes or copied and given away to others.”
Those and other requirements, Microsoft believes, “are a small price to pay for obtaining an authentic copy of Windows Vista that is current on all its immunizations and will make a great companion for years to come.”
In related news, Microsoft’s decision to give Vista away was greeted with scorn from many computer industry insiders.
“Once again Microsoft is playing catch up,” wrote PC Age. “Linux has been giving away operating systems—and far more stable ones—for years.”
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