TORINO, Italy – In response to Olympic athletes’ proclaimed indifference to medals, an Olympic official told reporters following the women’s figure skating championship last night that certificates of participation would “more than likely” replace medals at the next Winter Olympics, which will be held in Vancouver in 2010.
“After listening to athlete after athlete declare that he or she was ‘indifferent’ to medals because it was the process that counted, we have concluded that the pressure of competing for a medal was spoiling most athletes’ enjoyment of the games,” said Umberto Tripillini, recording secretary of the Winter Olympics medal committee.
Senor Tripillini’s point was underscored by U.S. figure skater Sasha Cohen, who klutzed once again in the free skate after skating impressively in the short program two nights before.
“Over the past four years I’ve changed as a person,” said Ms. Cohen, who fell twice early in her program and blew the lead she had held going into last night’s competition.
“My focus is not on some medal now,” Ms. Cohen declared. “For me, it’s the experience and the process that count. The free skate is ultimately just four minutes of my life. The process is my life. I live and skate for those perfect, fleeting moments—not when the medals are handed out, but when skating goes beyond an athletic event and becomes an emotional experience.”
Cohen maintained that she actually gave two performances last night. The first was a “dark blue passage” in which she fell twice and looked like a chimp on skates because she was “momentarily obsessed with winning a medal.” That section was followed by a “pretty pink” phase in which she skated gloriously because she was “centered in the moment.”
According to Senor Tripillini, the move to eliminate medals will face some opposition when it is brought to a vote before the full Olympic committee. Japanese delegate, Yuri Sushimi, who had not expressed an opinion on the issue previously, sounded as if he favored retaining the medal system after Shizuka Arakawa had won the women’s gold in figure skating last night. Hers was the first gold medal for Japan in these Olympics.
“At some point we have to stop coddling these performers,” said Mr. Sushimi. “We’ve already bent over frontward to please them. We even implemented a new scoring system that rewards positive elements rather than penalizing failures, but still they complain and talk about process. Process is for losers.”
If the movement to eliminate medals is approved, the Olympic committee will implement other changes in its programs, said Senor Tripillini. For example, he added, the traditional three-step podium will be replaced by a level one on which all the performers in an event will stand when they receive their certificates of participation.
In related news, President George W. Bush saluted Senor Tripillini for his “visionary” thinking. “Critics of the operation in Iraq should take a page from the Olympic committee and stop focusing on the outcome in Iraq,” said Mr. Bush. “All this talk about exit strategies is misleading. I believe it is the process, not the outcome, of a war that determines its success, and I feel good about the process in Iraq.”
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