LOS ANGELES – For the last twenty-five years American Idol judge and former entertainer Paula Abdul has valiantly struggled against a rare, difficult-to-diagnose condition that has caused her extreme mental, physical, and emotional turmoil.
Abdul told a US Weekly reporter that she has chosen “this moment in time” to talk about the condition not because she wants to use it to excuse her sometimes loopy behavior but because she wants to help other people like herself who have been accused of engaging in sexual misconduct in the workplace.
According to Abdul’s private internist, Sydney Lumberra, M.D., “Paula suffers from paradoxical complex, simple regional-and-local pain syndrome (PCSRLPS). Because little is known about this syndrome, Paula has been treated for everything from Lyme disease to shingles, bubonic arthritis to gran pleneria loptosis, all without success. She has been given pain killers, mood elevators, anti-depressants, and industrial strength laxatives—each of which has altered her mindset at one time or another. While Paula does not wish to use these facts to justify her behavior, she has bravely chosen to come forward so this dreaded condition and those who suffer from it may finally get the medical recognition they deserve.”
PCSRLPS can attack any organ or part of the body without warning, rhyme, or reason. The only notice this disease serves to its victims is a dull, persistent ache in the affected region. Paradoxically—and hence the first word of the syndrome’s name—the only effective way to lessen the ache in the affected region is by exercising that area regularly.
This method of treatment can be a blessing or a curse. It was a blessing in Abdul’s case when her legs began throbbing in her teen-age years and she used that pain as the motivation to become one of Hollywood’s most accomplished dancers.
After years of dancing had finally left Abdul free of pain in her legs, she was stricken with a dull, persistent throbbing in her buttocks. To combat that feeling she sought a socially responsible activity that would require large amounts of sitting while still keeping her in the public eye. The “America Idol” show appeared to be a just what the doctor had ordered, until the pain began to migrate in a personal direction and Abdul had no recourse but to engage in sex three times a day—alone or with others—in order to free herself of pain.
“Paula confided this to Corey Clark, who told her he would always be there for her” said Lumberra, “but little did she know he meant that literally. He took advantage of her when she was at her most vulnerable. None of the other people whom Paula turned to for help did that. As for his threatening to describe the genital wart she has in the shape of Mr. Peanut, the less said about that the better.”
After her medicinal affair with Clark in 2003, Abdul tried experimental medication, which left her pain-free but which also brought on bouts of irrationality. During one of these bouts last December, when she was driving on the L.A. freeway, she sideswiped another vehicle and sped away, something she swears she never would have done had it not been for the medication.
“Paula doesn’t want to use the medication as an excuse for her behavior,” said her agent, Shirley Morris. “She just wants to help others who are on medication to be aware of its potential side effects.”
In other news, John Bolton is expected to be confirmed as special envoy to the United Nations now that he has seen “The Interpreter” and has written a five-hundred-word essay on the organizational structure of the U.N.
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