WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Two dangerously popular websites have crashed during the last four days after being innundated with visitors, apparently giving the lie to the notion that it’s impossible to be too rich or too thin.
The first victim of its own richness, www.spicyparis.com, featured Paris Hilton, clad in a stringy black swimsuit, waving a garden hose suggestively at a Bentley while inhaling a Carl’s Jr’s Spicy BBQ Burger. The site, which Carl’s Jr had commissioned just the day before, was trampled into the dirt by frantic burger fans like it was a drunken tourist who had wandered into the wrong street during the running of the bulls.
“We had to evacuate the entire second floor of the office,” said Edgar DeRogatis, chief of technical support at Tangled Webs, the company that hosts the Carl’s Jr site. “Smoke started pouring out of the dedicated server Carl’s Jr had rented.”
Four hours later the smoke had cleared, the server had been replaced, and www.spicyparis.com was back on line pimping burgers.
The second site to get wiped out, www.pugbus.net, was poleaxed this morning shortly after 8:00 a.m. (EDST) when more than one thousand visitors stampeded to the site to read Phil Maggitti’s wickedly incisive piece entitled “Senate Reaches Compromise on Sexual Filibuster
According to the Amish farmer that hosts the popular Pug Bus site, “We added two extra mules to the primary drive train, but we still couldn’t keep up with the demand.”
Reached by courier in the oddly appointed den from which he runs his publishing empire, the reclusive Maggitti said that his site had been offline for approximately two hours.
“I’ve talked to Farmer Stoltzfus,” Maggitti reported. “I offered to reimburse him for the mule that died, but he wouldn’t hear of it. If this happens again, though, we may have to transfer our IP renumericator to an indoor facility.”
Although Maggitti declined to speculate, satire-industry observers say the outage might have cost Pug Bus as much as $2.97 in lost Google AdSense revenue.
“That’s chump change,” Maggitti said. “We spend more than that on trail mix.”
In other news, First Lady Laura Bush was booed once again, this time at an open mike night in an Israeli comedy club, as her current stand-up tour of the Middle East mercifully draws to a close.
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