BANGKOK(AP)– The National Security Agency (NSA) is claiming to have played “a major role” in helping police in Thailand to break up a gang that had provided false identification papers for fourteen elephants, a spokesperson for the organization told the Associated Press.
Speaking over a secure channel via Skype on condition of anonymity, the spokesperson revealed that the critical information was gathered as “a collateral by-product” of the NSA’s ongoing surveillance of communications between terrorist cells around the world.
“I am not at liberty to reveal the exact nature of our surveillance in Thailand—or to acknowledge that we are actually collecting information there—but I can tell you that during the course of our activities we uncovered data that we handed over to the Thai police, and the data we provided enabled them to break up an international cabal trafficking in falsified elephant pedigrees and registration papers.”
The cabal, believed to be operating from the warehouse of a restaurant-supply business in Bangkok, allegedly provided false identification papers for elephants bound for tourist destinations and petting zoos in three southern provinces.
When Police Major General Norasak Hemnithi, chief of Thailand’s Natural Resources and Environmental Crime Suppression unit, was asked about the NSA’s contribution to the arrest of the gang, he appeared puzzled.
“We had received information weeks ago about the gang, code named Origami, from one of our paid informants. Then all of a sudden we just began getting emails from the NSA that contained the same information that was in our original emails. The NSA must have intercepted our emails and then sent them to us after we already had them.”
The NSA, which has been under fire of late for gross violations of the privacy of United States citizens, justified its actions in Thailand by pointing out that “once an elephant has false identification papers, it might well be used as a mule by terrorists to carry explosive devices or even secret messages into the United States.”
In other news: the NSA denied “operative institutional responsibility” for the interception and destruction of 2,776 Pizza Hut email orders placed in California last night between the hours of 7:00 p.m. and midnight.
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