WEST GOSHEN, Pa.–Not content with declaring war on date rape, Columbus Day, free speech, men who urinate standing up, and other impediments to the establishment of the nanny state/matriarchal society, colleges have taken dead aim on Halloween, a day fraught with the perils of political incorrectness.
The State University of New York at Geneseo and Wesleyan University, which ought to have better things to do with their time, are offering to help students determine if their Halloween costumes might potentially offend someone, anyone, any place in the world.
The list of thou-shalt-nots is impressive: no costumes mocking religious symbols such as dreadlocks; no attempts to represent an entire cultural or ethnicity; no trivializing human suffering, oppression, or marginalization, ergo no costumes depicting prisoners or homeless people.
Grrrrrrr. When is this shit going to stop? When everybody drives the same dull shade of beige automobile? Perhaps it would stop sooner if college kids smoked a few bowls, thunk up the most offensive costumes they could manage, and went out trick or treating. Here are some ideas to get them started.
A kid with Downs syndrome dressed in a Hitler suit
Dylan Roof
The Pope wearing a bondage codpiece
A Planned Parenthood protester with a disgusting dead fetus poster
A naked woman
Two policeman in full riot gear
Megyn Kelly dressed as a box of tampons
Jackie the UVA gang bang “victim”
Eric Clapton’s son for whom he wrote “Tears in Heaven”
Michael Brown
Bruce Jenner
Matthew Shephard in a scarecrow costume
. . . to be continued as we think of more obnoxious things throughout the day. God bless.
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