CHICAGO – Audience members at the taping of The Oprah Show yesterday expected to see Madonna explain via satellite from London why she is right and everyone who criticizes her adoption of a thirteen-month-old Malawi child is wrong.
They weren’t disappointed. They were surprised, however, when Oprah announced at the end of the taping that she was giving each person in the 271-member audience “her very own” African orphan.
“And you won’t have to mortgage the house to pay the gift taxes on these puppies,” shouted Oprah as she pumped her fist in the air.
She was referring, of course, to the cockup that occurred when she gave away 276 new Pontiac G-6 sports sedans to audience members on her September 13, 2004, show. People in that unfortunate group were stunned to learn that the value of their heated-leather-seats gifts put them in a higher tax bracket—or, in many cases, in a tax bracket.
Coincidentally Brooke Cartier of New Orleans, a freelance talk-show attendee, was also in the studio the day Oprah gave away the cars.
“Now that I’ve repaid the loan I had to take out to pay taxes after I took possession of the car, I can better appreciate it,” said Ms. Cartier, 33, who attended the taping yesterday as a stringer for People magazine.
Ms. Cartier received an eight-month-old girl from Ethiopia, whom she plans to name Angelina.
“This is a win-win situation,” said Ms. Cartier, a single mother of one. “The kid gets a better life. I get a tax deduction and a larger welfare check.”
Besides Ethiopia five other African countries supplied babies to Oprah: Nigeria, Uganda, The Gambia, Tanzania/Zanzibar, and Malawi. The latter, which forbids noncitizens who aren’t celebrities from adopting babies, was able to circumvent that restrictioin by giving Oprah litter slips for the children in her name. She will sign those children over to their noncelebrity parents at a later date.
In related news, Madonna also read portions of her latest children’s book, The English Roses: Too Good To Be True, to the Oprah audience. The book tells the story of a brave, misunderstood entertainer who is criticized “every time she tries to do something good for the world.”
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