ATLANTA, Ga. – Television talk show lawyer Nancy Grace has filed a $300-million lawsuit against cartoon figure Tweety Bird. Citing extreme mental anguish, “worse even than when my old boyfriend got whacked,” Ms. Grace vowed “to wipe that bird off the face of the earth so that people will finally stop saying I look like him.”
Filling in last night on CNN for talk show host Larry King, who had been hospitalized wth a severe genital rash caused by a reaction to vitamin supplements, Ms. Grace, 46, opened the program with a profanity-laced diatribe against “that yellow flying rat.”
Later in the program Lucy Myers of Salt Lake City and her six-year-old daughter, Luci, called in to ask Ms. Grace to consider the effect of her lawsuit on young fans of Tweety Bird. Ms. Grace became livid. She screamed at Luci, “There is no damn Tweety Bird, you retard. There isn’t any Santa Claus either.”
She continued her tirade, reducing poor Luci Myers to tears before her mother hung up on Ms. Grace.
Even veteran Nancy Grace followers were surprised by her demonic outburst.
“I thought she was a triffle harsh on that child,” said Amway distributor Janis McGee of Opp, Alabama. “And when she bit the head off that live baby duck that looked like it had been painted yellow, well, she might have crossed a line there.”
A spokesperson at Warner Bros. said that Tweety Bird, 62, would have no comment about Ms. Grace’s lawsuit. The reclusive Mr. Bird has rarely spoken with the press since 1950, when his original pink color was changed to his present yellow because motion picture censors thought he “looked naked and a little bit queer.”
In other news, Mercedes-Benz announced the recall of its Nicole Richie autographed edition SUVs.
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