postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Flash Fiction

AA Releases Flash Version of 12 Steps Program

philmaggitti 110 Views 0 min read

I’m bad, god’s good. I’ll put the ball in his court. Then  I’ll count the ways I’ve screwed up. Wow, I really am a turd. I should just let god be god and ask him for a reboot. Finally I’ll offer to apologize to everyone I’ve harmed, providing it’s safe.

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Talking in the Present Tense

philmaggitti

A concussion leaves Guido unable to speak in the past tense. One day a sinister-looking man in a pizzeria hears him say, “I get the stromboli when I’m here last week.” The man, a local mobster, thinks Guido is in witness protection. When Guido leaves the store, the man follows.

BearScat Announces Pro Model Upgrade

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A Canadian couple was eaten by a bear recently despite “shooting” her with a full can of BearScat, “the world’s most effective bear repellent.” Stung by criticism from outraged Redditors, the company has introduced BearScatPro. Each giant-economy-sized can includes a coupon for 20% off any Smith & Wesson hand gun.

I’m Not Religious, but I Am Spiritual

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If ever you hear someone make this claim, change the subject fast; otherwise you’ll be sorry to learn that “spiritual” folks believe in some batshit notions–crystals, astrology, sweat lodges, yoga, Ouija boards, Tarot cards, the I Ching–that make the notion of Jesus walking on water seem downright plausible. Amen.