postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Flash Fiction

AA Releases Flash Version of 12 Steps Program

philmaggitti 128 Views 0 min read

I’m bad, god’s good. I’ll put the ball in his court. Then  I’ll count the ways I’ve screwed up. Wow, I really am a turd. I should just let god be god and ask him for a reboot. Finally I’ll offer to apologize to everyone I’ve harmed, providing it’s safe.

You May Also Enjoy

I’m Not Religious, but I Am Spiritual

philmaggitti

If ever you hear someone make this claim, change the subject fast; otherwise you’ll be sorry to learn that “spiritual” folks believe in some batshit notions–crystals, astrology, sweat lodges, yoga, Ouija boards, Tarot cards, the I Ching–that make the notion of Jesus walking on water seem downright plausible. Amen.

Talking in the Present Tense

philmaggitti

A concussion leaves Guido unable to speak in the past tense. One day a sinister-looking man in a pizzeria hears him say, “I get the stromboli when I’m here last week.” The man, a local mobster, thinks Guido is in witness protection. When Guido leaves the store, the man follows.

Five Best AI-generated Breakup Lines

philmaggitti

“Your face is like the blue screen of death.” “Sorry. I’ve encountered a fatal exception in my heart. You.” “We are an outdated operating system, incompatible with the future.” “You are the malware that corrupts my operating system.” “As of today your program is no longer eligible for tech support.”