Author: Chip Hilton

ATLANTA, Ga.–The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDCP) has issued a purple alert, its highest consumer warning, over the spread of naked yoga breast feeding (NYBF). The practice, which first appeared two years ago after the photo at left had gone postal on the Internet, has been responsible for “an alarming number of injuries Read More

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Roger Stamen is not shy about declaring his preference in sexual partners. “Plants get me off,” says Mr. Stamen, a self-employed landscape gardener. “They always have, ever since I was a kid. When other guys were masturbating to Penthouse or Beaver, I was hunched over the latest issue of Horticulture magazine.” Sitting at Read More

NEW YORK—Hormel Foods, makers of Spam, announced yesterday that it has added edible swimwear to the ever-growing catalog of novelty gift items made in the image and likeness of the popular foodstuff. According to Hormel’s chief information officer, Gloria Silverman, “SPAM swimwear is the first item in what is expected to be a long line Read More

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Political commentator and steamy, right-wing sex goddess Ann Coulter has never been loath to use her sexuality or her febrile tongue to sell books. She called used-to-be-presidential-candidate John Edwards a faggot, insinuated that Hillary Clinton is a “flabby-ass dyke,” suggested that widows of 9/11 victims “would go without panties to their Read More

WASHINGTON, D.C.–The National Council for Transgender Equality (NCTE) charged today that Time magazine’s choice of the clitoris as its 2015 Person of the Year “invalidates the narratives” of thousands of transgender women around the world. “By conferring this award on the clitoris,” said the NCTE, “Time mocks transgender women everywhere, who are not considered part of this award Read More