Author: Chip Hilton

MALIBU – Britney Spears turns twenty-four on Friday, and her husband Kevin Federline has been scouring gas station minimarts for presents. Federline, who was recently voted Most Annoying Wigger of 2005 by the NAACP, is determined to quash rumors that he’s a shiftless gold digger. According to a source close to Federline, the dancer-turned-rapper shopped Read More

HOLLYWOOD – Celebrity daughter Kimberly Stewart has ended her eleven-day engagement to Laguna Beach star Talan Torriero. The announcement, which came just hours after Stewart had learned Torriero’s last name, stunned friends of the couple. “She told me she thought Talan’s last name was ‘Guy,’” said Stewart’s close friend Paris Hilton. “Everybody always calls him “that Laguna Beach guy” Read More

HOLLYWOOD – Jennifer Lopez and Hormel Foods announced today that the singer-actress-fashionista will introduce edible lingerie made of SPAM to her Sweetface fashion line in time for Valentine’s Day. The edible garments will include bikini panties, thongs, bras, and revealing one-piece lounge wear. “The continuing popularity of J-Lo and low carb foods makes SPAM lingerie Read More

HOLLYWOOD – Having returned from the brink of ninety-eight-pound extinction, Lindsay Lohan has agreed to do a public service announcement for D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) that warns of the evils of Coke. The singer-actress, now a radiant 107 pounds, signed on to do the announcement after kicking a yearlong addiction to Diet Coke. “Things Read More

LOS ANGELES – Former actor Robert Blake told reporters outside Los Angeles Superior Court yesterday that Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward is concealing information that could clear Blake’s name. Blake, 72, made the charge just minutes after a jury had determined by a ten-to-two vote that he was liable in a wrongful death lawsuit brought by the Read More

HOLLYWOOD – Scientologist Tom Cruise fired his sister and publicist, Lee Anne DeVette, yesterday after he had learned she is taking Lexapro, a popular antidepressant. DeVette’s drug use was discovered by Cruise’ fiance, Katie Holmes, who found a bottle of Lexapro in DeVette’s medicine cabinet last weekend while looking for an emery board. “We regret Read More

HOLLYWOOD – Jessica Simpson told Psychology Today that she was extremely disappointed by her recent experience with therapy. The singer-actress claimed that relentless gossip about her marriage to Nick Lachey drove her to visit a therapist to find out if the rumors were true. “But all’s he did was ask me a lot of questions, how I Read More

NEW YORK – Adoptive mother Angelina Jolie paid a surprise visit to the ASPCA shelter yesterday. She was there, she told shelter employees, because she wanted to adopt a basenji, an African breed noted for its intelligence. Unfortunately, the shelter did not have any basenjis available. Nevertheless Ms. Jolie spent three hours being fingerprinted, answering Read More

LOS ANGELES – Keanu Reeves is privately telling friends he was stunned when he discovered that Diane Keaton, with whom he has been linked romantically, “is like way older” than he is. “When I read in US Weekly the other day that she was fifty-nine,” Reeves told one acquaintance, “I was like, ‘whoa, dude, no way she’s Read More

LOS ANGELES – As soon as heads of state learned that a California judge had signed off on Jennifer Aniston’s request for a divorce from Brad Pitt, messages of condolence from around the world began pouring into the offices of the once golden couple. “You have demonstrated a rare civility in this trying time,” wrote Read More

LOS ANGELES – Ben Affleck has vowed to give up acting for the sake of his unborn daughter. The Pearl Harbor star said he made the decision at the request of his pregnant wife, Jennifer Garner. Friends of the couple say Garner, 33, who stars in the television show Alias, doesn’t want Affleck to continue acting while she Read More

TAOS, N.M. – Julia Roberts has quietly dropped a landmark civil lawsuit she had filed against her breasts. The suit, filed in Taos Municipal Court in late March, charged that Roberts’ hooters, which had grown from a 34-B to a 38-D since she gave birth to twins last year, not only inflicted personal hardship and Read More

MALIBU – Pandemonium broke out Saturday night when a paparazzo stalking Britney Spears at a hilltop home was struck in the leg by a plastic pellet. As guests inside the home were giggling and making crude jokes whenever Spears opened another box of comic lingerie at a baby shower held in her honor, Spears’ husband Read More

HOLLYWOOD – Brad Pitt is expected to announce on Meet the Press Sunday the impending launch of Bradgelina 2.0, the updated version of his wildly popular rumors hotline. Beginning at 9:00 a.m. (EDST) on Thursday August 11, concerned Pitt fans who dial 1-900-NOT-TRUE will be able to hear Pitt deny in his own voice an entire new Read More