Chip Hilton – Page 4 – postcards from the pug bus

Vanessa Hudgens Homemade Sex Video Surfaces on Internet

Chip Hilton 402 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Vanessa Hudgens has more to apologize for than a few perky-breasted but otherwise virginal nude photos currently starring as the screen savers du jour of sticky-fingered Internet types, young and old, across the United States. The photos, it seems, were only the tit of the iceberg. Bed-headed

Culture

Osama bin Laden Video Launches September 11 Collection

Chip Hilton 392 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Osama Bin Laden has released a popping new video to accompany the launch of his revolutionary September 11 Collection, which hits high-end shopping stalls in Muslim countries on Tuesday, the sixth anniversary of the deadliest attacks on the U.S. fashion industry. In the video a classically

News

Madeleine McCann’s Mother Advances to Suspect Round in Quiz Show

Chip Hilton 390 Views 2 min read

PORTIMAO, Portugal – Madeline McCann’s mother, Kate, has advanced to the suspect round in this season’s smash Portuguese television show Did You Kill Your Daughter?. Mrs. McCann, 39, whose daughter Madeleine, then three, went missing on May 3, spent eleven hours before the cameras yesterday, patiently providing answers to the shows

News

Jerry Lewis Apologizes to Illiterates Everywhere

Chip Hilton 388 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Former comedian Jerry Lewis apologized yesterday “to illiterates everywhere” for a remark he made during the 207th hour of his annual Labor Day telethon. “I apologize to the fifteen people who were still awake at that point in my telethon, which raised a record $63.7 million for

Celebrities

Angelina Jolie Losing Body Mass, Cooling Off Significantly

Chip Hilton 382 Views 2 min read

BOSTON – Angelina Jolie is losing mass and cooling off at a significant rate, observers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) report. Their findings, which appear in the current issue of the journal Science, suggest that Ms. Jolie will cease to be a major star if she continues to shrink

Celebrities

Britney Spears Changing Sons’ Names to William and Harry

Chip Hilton 416 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears filed a petition in a Los Angeles court yesterday seeking to change the names of her sons to William and Harry. According to Herb Webberstein, an attorney for Ms. Spears, “Britney feels she made a mistake when she named her boys Sean Preston and Jayden

Sporting Life

Michel Martin Is Today’s Michael Vick Tool

Chip Hilton 405 Views 1 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Today’s dumb-ass Michael Vick sympathizer is Michel Martin, hostess of Tell Me More, a one-hour daily NPR news talk show. Ms. Martin, whose husband, Billy, is Michael Vick’s lawyer, said last night on the Bill Maher show that with so many murders in Philadelphia, Baltimore, Atlanta, and

News

Pope Benedict Urges Peace on The Sopranos in Easter Address

Chip Hilton 402 Views 2 min read

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI devoted his annual Easter address to a condemnation of the violence on HBO’s hit series The Sopranos and to a call for peace among the warring factions on the show, which, coincidentally, aired the first of its final nine episodes last night. The pope began by

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Rules in I Know Who Killed Me

Chip Hilton 373 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Lindsay Lohan rules the screen in Tri Star Pictures I Know Who Killed Me in which she plays Aubrey Fleming, an aspiring actress attending college in New Salem, a small but idyllic college town. Aubrey, who bears a startling resemblance to a troubled young actress named Dakota Moss,

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Innocent of Cocaine Possession Says LAPD

Chip Hilton 371 Views 1 min read

LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan, who was arrested for cocaine possession and driving under the influence of alcohol Tuesday, has been cleared of the cocaine charge, according to a member of the Los Angeles Police Department. “After reading Lindsay’s email to Billy Bush at Access Hollywood, the one where she said

Sporting Life

Michelle Wie Enters Rehab

Chip Hilton 397 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Michelle Wie checked into a Promises residential treatment center early Sunday afternoon to seek help in battling what she called “like, a minor substance thing.” Looking not at all like the emotional wreck who walked off a golf course in North Carolina the previous day, sobbing and

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Brokered Spice Girls Reunion

Chip Hilton 387 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – The Spice Girls are reuniting for a world tour, and we can thank Tom Cruise for that. The diminutive actor is rumored to have stepped in and brokered the reunion deal after negotiations between Geri Halliwell (Old Spice) and the rest of the group had broken down.

Celebrities

Paris Hilton Snags Larry King Interview for $1.5 Million

Chip Hilton 391 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Larry King was the surprise winner of the bidding war for the right to conduct Paris Hilton’s initial post-jail interview. The veteran talk show host and natural-supplements advocate will bank $1.5 million in return for devoting his entire show to the “new” Paris Hilton tonight. “I’ve talked

Celebrities

Paris Hilton Finds God in Jail, Starts Her Own Hotline

Chip Hilton 375 Views 5 min read

LOS ANGELES – Like many prisoners with time on their hands, Paris Hilton found god in jail. Ms. Hilton, 26, made the lord’s acquaintance in the Century Regional Detention Center in Lynwood, California, where she served most of a twenty-three day sentence for violating the terms of her drunk-driving probation

News

Queen Elizabeth 2 Moving to Dubai

Chip Hilton 392 Views 2 min read

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates – Queen Elizabeth 2, the majestic traveler who inspired millions of people around the world during her fifty-five year reign, has been sold to a Dubai-owned company for $100 million. Istithmar, the state-owned company that purchased QE2, as she is known to her many admirers, plans