postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Author: Chip Hilton

Celebrities

Britney Spears News Blackout Urged by Satire Website

Chip Hilton 368 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s leading celebrity satire website, has called for a Britney Spears news blackout. Site founder and editor in briefs, Phil Maggitti, threw down the gauntlet yesterday afternoon, frightening his Boston terrier and nearly spilling a tall decaf latte in the

Culture

Tony Soprano Sighting Reported in New Jersey

Chip Hilton 412 Views 2 min read

NEWARK, N.J. – Tony Soprano was sighted late Tuesday night leaving Satin Dolls, the gentlemen’s club on Route 17 in Lodi, New Jersey, where scenes that took place at the Bada Bing strip joint in The Sopranos had been filmed. “He looked good, man,” said Mario Fenestra, who reported the sighting to

Celebrities

Antonella Barba Enters Rehab

Chip Hilton 398 Views 2 min read

WARMINSTER, Penna. – After being sent down by American Idol voters last night, Antonella Barba announced through her publicist that she would enter the Bucks County Hospital in Warminster, Pennsylvania, this weekend to begin treatment for an unspecified condition. Bloggers across the United States responded to this announcement wth a collective chubby,

News

Angelina Jolie to Replace Paul Wolfowitz at World Bank

Chip Hilton 368 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Angelina Jolie has been tapped to replace Paul Wolfowitz as president of the World Bank. President Bush is expected to delay making the formal announcement until early next week, however, in order to give Mr. Wolfowitz time to gild his parachute, and Mr. Bush time to prepare

Innerviews

Paris Hilton Exclusive Jail Sentence Interview

Chip Hilton 448 Views 4 min read

LOS ANGELES – Paris Hilton has been sentenced to forty-five days in a county jail for violating the terms of her drunk-driving probation by operating a motor vehicle with a suspended license. The twenty-six-year-old celebutant, who showed up fifteen minutes late for her scheduled court appearance yesterday, has until June

Music

Nicole Kidman Outfits Keith Urban with Alcohol Monitor

Chip Hilton 432 Views 2 min read

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Nicole Kidman has fitted her alcoholic husband Keith Urban with a microchip, hoping to accomplish with technology what she couldn’t accomplish with sex, mandatory rehab, or pregnancy threats. The device, a transponder actually, was implanted between Mr. Urban’s shoulder blades before he embarked on his O’Doul’s Amber

CelebritiesSporting Life

Lindsay Lohan Falls in NFL Draft

Chip Hilton 382 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Lindsay Lohan, once considered the potential number one pick in this year’s NFL draft, lingered on the board yesterday like a dingleberry on a donkey’s butt until she was finally selected by the Cleveland Browns with the twenty-second pick in the first round. Questions about Ms. Lohan’s

Celebrities

Britney Spears Denies That She’s Broke

Chip Hilton 376 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Britney Spears is broke. Months of non-stop drinking and shopping, coupled with binge eating, purging, and serious brown Persian heroin and cocaine abuse have depleted her resources; and now the former pop star, 25, has finally gone belly up, insiders say. “Britney just don’t work no more,” said

News

Don Imus Fundraiser Spotlights Presidential Pardon

Chip Hilton 379 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Less than twenty-four hours after MSNBC had fired radio personality Don Imus for calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team “nappy-headed hos,” President Bush granted Mr. Imus an executive pardon. The text of President Bush’s pardon was read on the air by Mr. Imus at the conclusion of

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Challenges Global Warming Report

Chip Hilton 404 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Tom Cruise dismissed the global warming report issued by the United Nations as “a load of pseudo-scientific hooey” that offers “temporary bromides” instead of real solutions to the world’s temperature increases. Addressing a group of reporters at his son’s baseball game yesterday afternoon, Mr. Cruise demanded to

Music

Keith Richards Snorted His Cat’s Ashes

Chip Hilton 377 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Rolling Stones rhythm guitarist Keith Richards angrily denied a report that he had snorted his late father’s ashes. During a chance meeting with Rolling Stone magazine’s AARP correspondent, Anthony D. Curtis, in the men’s room of a New York City nightclub, Mr. Richards called the report “a load of

Celebrities

Anna Nicole Smith’s Daughter Identifies Her Father

Chip Hilton 412 Views 2 min read

NASSAU, Bahamas – Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter, Dannielynn, spoke her first word yesterday, and the news was not good for Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead, or Frederic Prince von Anhalt—all of whom claim to be her father. The word Dannielynn spoke was dada, and the person to whom she spoke it

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Vows to Stay the Course

Chip Hilton 445 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan, like her favorite president, George W. Bush, is determined to stay the course. Although Britney Spears has moved on from flashing her bunny to attending church with a posse of armed thugs—and Paris Hilton is more worried about jail time than face time these days—Ms.