Author: Chip Hilton

LONDON – A bitter Paul McCartney has finally taken the rag out of his mouth, ending a self-imposed gag order regarding his estranged wife, Heather Mills. During the weekend, the former cute Beatle spoke with Flora duMal of The Daily Mirror at Abbey Road studios, where he is recording “She Used to Do It in the Road,” Read More

WASHINGTON – The much-delayed funeral of Anna Nicole Smith will be televised live on C-SPAN2 tomorrow. Scheduled programs, beginning with “Press Freedoms in the Former Soviet Republic” at 7:00 a.m., will be preempted in order to provide day-long coverage of what promises to be the most talked about funeral in the recent history of the Read More

MALIBU – Britney Spears completed another successful one-day stint in rehab yesterday. After spending a restful night in the Christian Slater suite at Promises-by-the-Sea, chatting with friends on her cell phone and ordering in pizza, the one-time pop star summoned a car service at 8:00 a.m. and headed for the nearest tattoo parlor, apparently forgetting Read More

MALIBU – Britney Spears is hell bent on becoming the Caucasian answer to Mike Tyson. Just as Iron Mike took a sledge hammer to his boxing career, reducing himself from puncher to punch line, Ms. Spears seems intent on shitting the bed at every turn. Most recently the mercurial Ms. Spears cut out of Eric Read More

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. – Anna Nicole Smith was found “unresponsive” by her private nurse in a Florida hotel room on Thursday. The thirty-nine-year-old celebrity was taken to a hospital where she later died. O.J. Simpson does not believe she died of natural or pharmaceutical causes. Mr. Simpson, one of this country’s leading amateur criminologists, told THEM Weekly that Read More

LOS ANGELES – Former Friends star Jennifer Aniston has settled a multimillion-dollar lawsuit filed against her by Mrs. Coffee, wife of the popular coffee-making icon Mr. Coffee. The suit, filed early last year in Los Angeles, named Ms. Aniston as “the principal contributing factor” in the Coffees’ bitter divorce. Both parties are forbidden by the terms of Read More

LOS ANGELES – Brad Pitt’s few remaining friends in show business are worried that his relationship with Angelina Jolie is taking a fearsome toll on the once boyishly handsome actor (left). They claim that Mr. Pitt, who looked forty-one going on twenty-nine when he left Jennifer Aniston two years ago, now looks every minute of Read More

LOS ANGELES – Angelina Jolie is offended by a painting that depicts her as the Virgin Mary hovering in a cloud over a Wal-Mart checkout line. The painting, called “Twelve Items or Less,” was executed by Kate Kretz, an obscure North Carolina artist best known until now for her painting of Richard Petty hovering in Read More

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears suffers from a rare form of narcolepsy. Dick Clark still talks funny. These are the top stories of the new year. What goes around keeps going around, but who’s keeping score? Gossip blogs and celebrity news sources went into a feeding frenzy recently over reports that Britney Spears, 25, had Read More

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Britney Spears is the Postcards from the Pus Bus 2006 Person of the Year. Ms. Spears captured the title hands down, and occasionally face down, and why not? Hers is easily the most recognizable face and name in the world. Not the most recognizable celebrity face and name, but the most Read More