postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Author: philmaggitti

Weed

Pot Is Dead

philmaggitti 486 Views 2 min read

If Nietzsche were alive today, he would have to declare, “Pott ist tot.” Pot is dead. In Nietzsche’s time, as in ours, these sorts of uber deaths occur long before most people notice. Indeed, there are still worshipers who attend church on Sunday even though god has been dead an ungodly long time; and most Read More

News

Obesity-Causing Virus Found on Toilet Seats

philmaggitti 452 Views 2 min read

BATON ROUGE—A virus commonly found on toilet seats (TS-36) may be at the bottom of the obesity epidemic threatening to engulf the United States and to put a morbid strain on its gravity supply. Until now obesity was thought to be caused largely by overeating, prolonged residence below the Mason-Dixon Line, frequent attendance at cat Read More

Politics

BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

philmaggitti 435 Views 1 min read

WEST CHESTER, PA—Black Lives Matter (BLM) plans to interrupt tail-gaiting parties at several NFL games this afternoon to protest the celebration of National White Chocolate Day, observed each year on September 22. BLM Minister of Information Rashieel Watson-Korengi told Postcards from the Pug Bus that the protests were long overdue. “Crackers been celebrating that white Read More

Book of DazeNews

Pug Bus Service Marks National Penultimate Day℠

philmaggitti 538 Views 2 min read

The National Penultimate Day℠ campaign, launched recently by Postcards from the Pug Bus, took a giant step toward gravitas yesterday when Postcards’ editor in briefs Phil Maggitti applied for service mark registration for the name National Penultimate Day℠. “Good service marks make good movements,” chortled Mr. Maggitti, noting that soon the Pug Bus will be able Read More

Book of Daze

Pug Bus Launches National Penultimate Day Campaign

philmaggitti 456 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, PA—Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s least influential web site, today launched its National Penultimate Day campaign by sending a Bewerbungsschreiben to the National Day Calendar requesting that December 30 each year be designated National Penultimate Day. Phil Maggitti, Pug Bus editor in briefs, who sometimes writes under the pen name The Grammar Prick, Read More

Culture

How Millennials Can Tell If They’ve Had Sex

philmaggitti 432 Views 2 min read

BLOOMINGTON, Ind.—Researchers at the Kinsey Institute of Sex and Public Policy at Indiana University report that millennials cannot agree on what they mean when they say they’ve “had sex.” This conclusion was based on phone interviews with a random sample of 204 men and 282 women born between 1983 and 2000. Most were heterosexual, though Read More

Book of Daze

National Just Because Day

philmaggitti 419 Views 1 min read

Today is National Just Because Day, an opportunity “to do something without rhyme or reason,” according to the folks at National Day Calendar, who suggest we celebrate by getting that outfit we’ve been admiring at the mall or using a vacation day to go fishing or singing at the top of our lungs while driving Read More

BlogPolitics

Don’t Call Me a White Person Anymore

philmaggitti 482 Views 2 min read

Recently I was informed by the entrail readers at 23&Me that I am 1/500 sub-Saharan African or any other non-white subgroup. I was delighted by this revelation. In one small but insignificant stroke my street cred went up, as did my “offensive” explanations for my curly hair and fondness for fried chicken.” Then I heard Read More

Innerviews

Conversation with Man Whose Shit Doesn’t Stink

philmaggitti 472 Views 5 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – A twenty-five-year-old local man whose shit literally does not stink blames his rare condition for ruining his life. The unfortunate man—whom we will call “Helado,” the Spanish word for “ice cream”—told us his story over lunch at the Iron Hill Brewery last week. That story was a nightmare of broken friendships, Read More

Religion

What to Do When She Screams for God During Sex

philmaggitti 428 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER,Pa.—Atheism is the quickest-growing non-religion in the United States. To celebrate this encouraging development, we introduced recently an occasional series of articles by, for, and about atheists. We began with “Ask Nietzsche, Advice for Atheists,” a column designed to help atheists who find themselves caught in the sticky wickets often created by the bumptious Read More

News

Discordian Convention Coming to West Chester, PA

philmaggitti 440 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER,PA–Once known as The Athens of the East, this leafy college borough is bidding fair to become San Francisco East. Step one was the recent passage of a legally questionable ban on plastic bags. Step two, which preceded step one, as logic often does in colleges and their surroundings, is the number of students Read More

Saints Alive

OMG There’s a Patron Saint of Shorthand ISYN

philmaggitti 1312 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–If you’re STD (sick to death) of people who splatter their “writing” with SFS (stupid fucking shorthand), you can thank Saint Cassian of Imola, the OPS (official patron saint) of shorthand. Cassian, who lived in the fourth century CE (common era), was a schoolmaster at Imola in north-central Italy. He also moonlighted as Read More

Blog

The Kids Are All Right            

philmaggitti 466 Views 2 min read

I have nothing against children. Indeed, I think qualified persons should own a few. Children are often cute, sometimes amusing, and if we’re lucky, they grow into human beings instead of liberals. What does fry my old-straight-white-dude ass, however, is the effect that kids have on the people who create them–or who go out and Read More