postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Flash Fiction

BearScat Announces Pro Model Upgrade

philmaggitti 63 Views 0 min read
image of a person spraying a bear with BearScatPro

A Canadian couple was eaten by a bear recently despite “shooting” her with a full can of BearScat, “the world’s most effective bear repellent.” Stung by criticism from outraged Redditors, the company has introduced BearScatPro. Each giant-economy-sized can includes a coupon for 20% off any Smith & Wesson hand gun.

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I’m Not Religious, but I Am Spiritual

philmaggitti

If ever you hear someone make this claim, change the subject fast; otherwise you’ll be sorry to learn that “spiritual” folks believe in some batshit notions–crystals, astrology, sweat lodges, yoga, Ouija boards, Tarot cards, the I Ching–that make the notion of Jesus walking on water seem downright plausible. Amen.

F-word and C-word Almost Come to Blows

philmaggitti

Last night at Them’s Fightin’ Words Lounge, the C-word and the F-word got into an altercation. “The F-word called the C-word the C-word,” said the A-word. “No S-word, I thought they wuz gonna throw down,” said the N-word. “Hamas must be destroyed,” shouted the K-word from across the room.

BLM Activist Declares Gravity Is Racist

philmaggitti

BLM activist Jaleel X. Johnson-kendi, claims that gravity is a “white, heteronormative, non-cis-gender-affirming construct that disproportionally affects black people, especially young black men who don’t wear belts, “another symbol of the white man’s oppression.” Gravity now joins math, lawns, classical music, saddle shoes, and being on time as “racist constructs.” ©