NEW YORK – Britney Spears paid a surprise visit to yesterday’s taping of the “Late Show with David Letterman” in New York to deny rumors that she is bearing Mr. Letterman’s child. A spokesman for the CBS show said Ms. Spears’ brief visit, which had been arranged earlier in the day, was a surprise to Mr. Letterman as well as the studio audience.
Ms. Spears, 24, quipped “Don’t worry, Dave, it’s not yours” as she walked onto the stage in a black dress that revealed a definite tummy bulge. The “Late Show” band, which had been playing “My Prerogative,” the title song of Ms. Spears’ greatest-hits album, immediately switched to Bob Dylan’s “It Ain’t Me, Babe.”
“Well, I think that’s good news for both of us,” joked an obviously relieved Letterman. “So, we’ve established now that you are in fact pregnant by someone else, is that right?” Mr. Letterman continued.
“Yes, dear,” replied Ms. Spears, touching his arm playfully.
Ms. Spears’ announcement seems to have done little to quell rumors of her torrid fascination with the talk show host. A fact checker at Life & Style magazine, one of several tabloids that had been whispering about a Spears-Letterman connection for weeks, was quick to point out that “just because Britney’s not carrying Dave’s child doesn’t mean she didn’t carry on with him.”
Life & Style is committed, said the fact checker, to bringing its readers “the truth” about Ms. Spears’ alleged affair with Mr. Letterman.
In other news, a spokesman for Mercy Ascot Hospital in Auckland, New Zealand, where Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is reported to have had at least one brain operation, refuses to release any information about Mr. Richards “until the matter of his bar tab is settled.”
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren’t looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.