LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears may soon have the Los Angeles Department of Animal Welfare (DAW) up her recently covered butt. Sources tell our sister publication, Them Weekly, that a case worker from DAW has been trying to contact Ms. Spears since she told her husband Kevin Federline to piss off a month ago.
“The department has been calling Britney to set up a meeting so that someone can check on Lacy, Lucky, and Bit Bit (Ms. Spears’ dogs),” said the source.
Such meetings are routine whenever there is any change in an animal’s domestic situation, but the DAW is said to feel an added sense of urgency in this case.
“Britney’s over-the-top behavior since the split, plus the fact that she hasn’t been seen in public with the dogs for some time, has set the department’s teeth on edge,” said the source.
“She hasn’t been behaving like a responsible ‘dog mother,’ that’s for sure, and it’s not unthinkable that the department might intervene and place the dogs in a foster home.”
DAW officials are also concerned that Mr. Federline’s interest in gaining custody of the couple’s two children apparently does not extend to the dogs.
Them Weekly, which spares no effort to misinform people before other celebrity magazines can, checked the official Britney Spears website for clues to Lacy’s, Lucky’s, and Bit Bit’s whereabouts. Unfortunately the site, like Ms. Spears, appears to be undergoing a redesign. Apart from a brief message on the opening page of the site, there is no information to be had about Ms. Spears or the dogs. At one time there was a special page on the site devoted to the dogs, but the last entry on that page was dated March 25, 2005.
In related news, Them Weekly is attempting to verify rumors that Britney Spears’ three-month-old son, Jayden James, had a twin brother named Sutton Pierce, who died when Ms. Spears’ rolled over on him while attempting to breast feed the infant and have sex with her husband at the same time.
“We know there was a Sutton Pierce,” said Them Weekly fact checker Buzz Earwig, “because we discovered a website www.suttonpierce.org that contains information about him.”
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