LOS ANGELES – For the third time in four years, Britney Spears owns the most searched-for name on the Internet, according to Yahoo’s Buzz Index for 2005. Spears, who did not release an album of new material this year, proved that she is not a one-
dimensional star and that talent is not a prerequisite for notoriety.
“I thought all y’all was callin’ to talk about Kevin,” said Spears when Erik Gunther, who compiles the buzz index for Yahoo, phoned Spears for a comment. “People’s always callin’ him a yahoo an’ stuff.”
Spears, twenty-four, owes her position atop the Yahoo poll to her reality show, Chaotic, her used pregnancy test kit, which sold for $5,001 on eBay, and the public unraveling of her marriage to Kevin Federline, the human head lice.
Chaotic took a fascinated public inside the mind of a woman who mused that from a certain angle her knees look like her boobs. The pregnancy test kit took a fascinated public where more than a few men had boldly gone before. Kevin Federline, meanwhile, took Spears for a ride in public. It was, all things considered, more fun than public radio.
The runner up on Yahoo’s Buzz Index for 2005 was rapper and film star 50 Cent, winner of the Dr. William H. Cosby, Ed.D., award for presenting a positive role model for black youth.
Show money in the Yahoo buzz went to the Cartoon Network, recipient of the 700 Club citation for promoting Christian values among families.
Mariah Carey, a shoo in for Rolling Stone magazine’s Most Annoying Celebrity of 2005 award, came in fourth, largely on the basis for her efforts to take the “me” out of “team.”
Pop-punk band Green Day inspired the fifth greatest number of Yahoo name checks for their American Idiot album, which is soon to be made into a major motion picture, a video game, a Broadway play, and a chain of fast food restaurants.
Jessica Simpson, a born-again virgin now that her marriage to Nick Lachey has gone the way everybody had predicted that it would, came in sixth, followed by Paris Hilton, who was cited recently by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) for her humanitarian efforts on behalf of the animals left homeless by Hurricane Katrina.
Rounding off Yahoo’s top ten were rapper Eminem, singer Ciara, and actress-singer-skeleton Lindsay Lohan.
As interesting as Yahoo’s buzz index was for the names it included, the names it did not include also spoke to America’s taste in celebrities. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Nicole Richie, Pamela Anderson, and Angelina Jolie were absent from the list.
Pitt’s publicist, Cindy Gaugenti, said her client was pleased to have transcended celebrityhood.
“Brad wants to be remembered for his contributions to architecture,” said Gaugenti, “and for his humanitarian efforts on behalf of the children adopted by Angelina Jolie.”
The White House, which is the last place in the world anyone is going to look for celebrities that people have actually heard of, said President Bush was not troubled by his low standing.
“No one may be looking us up,” said presidential press secretary Scott McClellan, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t look other people up or read their e-mail if we want to.”
Next Oprah: Oprah Takes Top Five Spots in 2005 Oprah Buzz
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