WASHINGTON, D.C. – Shortly after arriving in Washington today, President Bush is expected to sign a presidential order intended to alleviate the suffering of hurricane victims in the battered Gulf Coast region.
Standing in front of the Western White House in Crawford, Texas, in a yellow slicker and rain hat yesterday afternoon, the president announced he would authorize that “up to forty-five additional days of unpaid sick leave be granted to folks who cannot report to their jobs on account of the hurricane.
“Obviously,” said the president, “people who can’t get to work because they’re clinging to the top of their roof shouldn’t have to worry about losing their job because they’ve already used up all their sick days.”
According to a source close to the White House, the president had originally planned to award ninety days paid sick leave to hurricane victims, “but Karl Rove reminded the boss that many of our donors in that area are bidness people.”
Nevertheless, Republican leaders are praising Bush’s decision, calling it “an example of compassionate conservatism” in action.
“The burdens of the people of Mississippi are much lighter today as a result of the president’s swift, decisive stroke,” said Mississippi senator Trent Lott.
In related news, President Bush also announced that the “surprise meeting” he had planned with peace activist Cindy Sheehan this afternoon had been canceled.
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