Music

LONDON – Paul McCartney is so keen to be shed of Heather Mills that he has dropped his request for joint custodial oversight of Ms. Mills’ breasts and a generous, unsupervised visitation schedule. “My client is prepared to quit his claims of alienation of affection and emotional deprivation if that will help to put paid Read More

HARTFORD, Conn. – Bruce Springsteen’s hair kicked ass and took names at the Hartford Civic Center last night. Reunited with the E Street Band for the first time in five years, Mr. Springsteen’s hair launched its Magic tour with a twenty-three-song set that recalled its glory days while demonstrating there’s still plenty of room left for growth. Read More

LOS ANGELES – The long-awaited new Britney Spears CD, Here I Come Again, will go on sale at all Starbucks outlets around the world on Tuesday. A source close to the project told Billboard magazine that Ms. Spears chose Starbucks because “it has always been her refuge” whenever she felt misunderstood. “No matter what lies the false tabloids Read More

LONDON – Last Saturday’s Live Earth concerts were such an environmental disaster that concert organizers plan to schedule another, more environmentally neutral event to offset the damage done by the first one. “In terms of carbon footprints, Live Earth was somewhere between Sasquatch and Jennifer Hudson,” admitted former president-elect Al Gore, the brains behind the Read More

        WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Spoiler alert: if you’re a Paul McCartney fan with a weak heart, a receding hairline, or a “cool” kid on the debate team at high school, stop reading now. What follows won’t be a silly love song, Uncle Albert. This being said, it should also be said that Read More

ANAHEIM, Calif. – Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards showed up last night for the world premiere of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, but all he wanted to talk about was the Hair Club for Men. Each time he paused on the red carpet to ask directions to the theater, Mr. Richards spoke of the Read More

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Nicole Kidman has fitted her alcoholic husband Keith Urban with a microchip, hoping to accomplish with technology what she couldn’t accomplish with sex, mandatory rehab, or pregnancy threats. The device, a transponder actually, was implanted between Mr. Urban’s shoulder blades before he embarked on his O’Doul’s Amber Waves of Grain Tour last Read More

LOS ANGELES – Sheryl Crow’s cat, Biodiesel, has gone missing, apparently in protest over the singer’s stingy attitude regarding the paper in his litter pan. Sources close to Biodiesel told Cat Fancy magazine that the five-year-old neutered male had become despondent after Ms. Crow had replaced his normal litter with a few scraps of cut-up old newspaper Read More

NEW YORK – Rolling Stones rhythm guitarist Keith Richards angrily denied a report that he had snorted his late father’s ashes. During a chance meeting with Rolling Stone magazine’s AARP correspondent, Anthony D. Curtis, in the men’s room of a New York City nightclub, Mr. Richards called the report “a load of bollocks” and said was going Read More

NEW YORK – Former Boston singer Brad Delp will be honored by the Burger King corporation, a company spokesman said yesterday. Bill Pitt, regional manager for Burger King’s New England stores, said the company made the decision following reports that Mr. Delp had died from carbon monoxide poisoning “after shutting himself inside a bathroom with Read More

LOS ANGELES – Angelina Jolie lent a much needed touch of spice to last night’s Oscar awards snooze fest. The thirty-one-year-old Tomb Raider star brought the audience out of its slumber when she appeared late in the proceedings via satellite to accept a lifetime achievement award for Klaus Harmony, the legendary erotic film score composer known as Read More

LOS ANGELES – After sweeping the top three categories at the 49th annual Grammy Awards last night, the Dixie Chicks announced they would “sue the ass off” any country music radio station that reversed a ban on the Chicks’ music and started playing their songs again. “Those bastards had their chance,” said Chicks’ lead singer, Read More

NEW YORK – Jessica Simpson told Elle magazine that the music of German composer Klaus Harmony was “the tripping point” in her relationship with her ex-husband Nick Lachey. In an interview that appears in the March issue of Elle, Ms. Simpson said that discovering Mr. Harmony’s music “opened me up to the possibilities of life and allowed me Read More

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Keith Urban, fresh out of a three-month residency for alcohol abuse treatment at the Betty Ford clinic, will ease back into drinking on stage again with a short run of club shows in the United Kingdom and Germany beginning in April. Paul Freundlich, the country singer’s publicist, confirmed that the shows will Read More

LOS ANGELES – If Britney Spears’ finds her way back to the top of the pop music heap, she can thank Klaus Harmony, a German musician, for giving her a leg up. Known as the Mozart of Porn, Mr. Harmony was a pop star and celebrated composer of scores for erotic films who died mysteriously Read More