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Mariah Carey Declares Comeback Over

LOS ANGELES – Pop diva Mariah Carey declared after last night’s Grammy awards that her “brilliant comeback year” was over. While one assistant held her Optifast drink and another held her three Grammys, a tearful Ms. Carey told members of the press, “You won’t have Mimi to kick around any

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Rolling Stones Inspired by Super Bowl Appearance

DETROIT – The Rolling Stones came away from their high-energy, twelve-minute appearance at Super Bowl XL with a renewed enthusiasm about performing. The concert, which was hailed by many Stones fans as the group’s “best in several decades,” was a revelation to Mick Jagger as well. At a press conference

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Mariah Carey in Talks with Jenny Craig

LOS ANGELES – Diva par excellence Mariah Carey, having mounted a successful comeback as a singer, now means to conquer the world of endorsements. The increasingly rotund Carey, thirty-six, huddled with executives from Jenny Craig in Aspen early last week to discuss the possibility of replacing Fat Actress star Kirsty Alley as

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OutKast to Perform at Rosa Parks Tribute

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Hip-hop stars OutKast, who made Rosa Parks a household name, will perform at a tribute in her honor to be held tomorrow night at The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. Parks, a retired seamstress and homemaker, died Monday October 24 in Detroit. She was

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Starbucks to Give Away Rolling Stones Album

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The Rolling Stones will release a compilation of “rare” tracks next month in partnership with the Starbucks Corporation and the group’s Virgin Records label. The album, entitled “Tall, Grande, Venti: Reheated Cups 1971-2003,” will debut on November 22 in Starbucks coffee shops, traditional music stores, and

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Rolling Stones to Write Soundtrack for Rocky VI

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Sylvester Stallone announced yesterday that the Rolling Stones have agreed to write the soundtrack for Rocky VI, whose working title is Rocky Balboa: The Beating Goes On. Sipping a Metamucil-carrot juice cocktail at a local health food store, Stallone, 60, told Postcards from the Pug Bus that he was

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Paul McCartney Releases Fidelity Investment CD

NEW YORK – Apparently persuaded that money can buy him love, former Beatle Paul McCartney has released “Penny Stocks,” an album he recorded at London’s historic Abbey Road Studio for the newly created Fidelity Investments label. Earlier this year McCartney, 63, signed a lucrative ten-figure contract with Fidelity that will

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Fats Domino Is Alive, Who Knew?

BATON ROUGE – Rock ‘n’ roll singer Fats Domino, long believed to have been dead, has turned up alive in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. According to news reports, Domino, 77, who is sometimes remembered for his 1950s hits “Ain’t That a Shame” and “Blueberry Hill,” was rescued by boat Monday night

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Rolling Stones Headlines Rich with Song Puns

BOSTON – Newspaper writers following the Rolling Stones latest world tour opened their coverage of Saturday night’s kick off concert in Boston with a high-stepping, energetic selection of headlines based on the names of songs in the Stones catalog. Readers who had any fears that age had dulled the writers’

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Rolling Stones Deny Other Songs About Bush

NEW YORK – Mick Jagger told Interview magazine’s special correspondent Elton John that none of the songs on the Rolling Stones’ new album, “A Bigger Bang,” is about President George W. Bush. Jagger had previously denied in The Wall Street Journal that “Sweet Neo Con” from “A Bigger Bang” was aimed at the president,

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Rolling Stones Deliver Protest Song

NEW YORK – The Rolling Stones have never backed away from following a trend, nor have they been afraid to boldly go where others have gone before. In 1967 they strode mightily in the footsteps of the Beatles vastly overrated “Sergeant Pepper” and released the vastly underrated “Their Satanic Majesties

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Lil’ Kim Gets Advice from Martha Stewart

KATONAH, N.Y. – Ex-con Martha Stewart sent rapper and future con Lil’ Kim an e-mail “just to let my home girl know that gettin’ banged up ain’t the end of the world, see what I’m sayin’?” Stewart, 63, sent the e-mail to Lil’ Kim, 30, after the Grammy-award winner, whose

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Bono Reunited with His Hat

(UPDATE) – A joyous Bono declared that “justice had prevailed” when he learned that a circuit civil court judge in Dublin had ruled that Bono’s one-time personal fashion consultant had to return various articles of clothing and photographs wrongfully obtained from the fashion-impaired political activist. The disputed items in the

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U2 Wins Lawsuit Over Bono Hat

DUBLIN – Bono won a landmark legal decision yesterday when a circuit civil court judge in Dublin ruled that Bono’s one-time personal fashion consultant had to return various articles of clothing and photographs to the diminutive, fashion-impaired political activist. At issue in the historic case were a Stetson hat adorned

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Live 8 Artists Profit from Surge in Downloading

LONDON – The Live 8 concert held on Saturday to raise awareness of the poverty problem in Africa has spurred an outbreak of activity on Internet file-sharing sites. Music Underground PLC, a web-based fanzine that tracks “non-sanctioned downloading activity” in the UK, reports that artists such as Pink Floyd, The Who,