LOS ANGELES – Charlie Sheen has voiced a cautionary note about the use of magic mushrooms to combat depression, anxiety, and drug dependence. In spite of positive reports from Johns Hopkins researchers about the potential of mushrooms to effect long-lasting, positive changes in mood and behavior, Mr. Sheen warns against “looking for a shortcut” to improved mental health.
“I’ve eaten my share of mushrooms,” said Mr. Sheen, “and I’m still as depressed, anxious, and drug dependent as I ever was.”
Mr. Sheen also said he regretted slipping magic mushrooms into a turkey tetrazini dinner that he once prepared for his estranged wife, Denise Richards.
“To my mind,” said Mr. Sheen, “that was far worse than gambling, drinking, or whoring around.”
Mr. Sheen said that although he had paid for his misadventure—”my wife rode me like a merry-go-round for seven hours”—he still felt obliged to help others recognize signs that the mushrooms they ate were magic mushrooms.
10. Two-and-a-half men look like five men.
9. The world trade center bombing looks like a government conspiracy.
8. You see dead people.
7. Dead people see you.
6. Intelligent design begins to make sense.
5. Can’t remember passwords to kiddie porn sites.
4. Nicole Richie’s love handles turn you on.
3. You forget the difference between your ass and a hole in the ground.
2. You Google yourself to prove you’re still alive.
1. Lost $10,000 betting on World Cup finals replay.
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