DISNEYLAND – What was to be a triumphant weekend debut for Walt Disney Studios Chicken Little was marred by the news that the hero of this newly released animated feature has been stricken with the Asian bird flu. Therefore, instead of crowing, Disney issued a tersely worded press release today, confirming rumors that had been flying around the animated-film community.
“We regret to inform our audience that the sky has indeed fallen,” the Disney statement began. “Chicken Little, the irrepressible and lifelike hero of the movie of the same name, is fighting for his life in the intensive care unit of the U.C. Davis Poultry Hospital. His father, Buck Cluck, and his girlfriend, Abby Mallard, are at his nest side.”
According to a source at Disney, a graphics designer who was performing routine maintenance on the movie’s website noticed that Chicken Little had lost a huge amount of feathers and didn’t seem to know his place in the pecking order. When Mr. Little didn’t respond to efforts to redraw him, the designer called the trauma unit at U.C. Davis.
Although Disney officials are at a loss to explain how Chicken Little contracted the Asian bird flu, former surgeon general C. Everett Coop believes that the more lifelike animated characters become, the more vulnerable they are to non-animated diseases. Coop also warned that all animators who worked on Chicken Little should be monitored carefully “in case the strain of bird flu that infected Chicken Little has already mutated into a form that can affect humans.”
An executive at a rival animation company clucked that Chicken Little may have been infected because the Disney animation department, in an attempt to cut corners, used pirated software programs on parts of Chicken Little.
“That’s chickenshit,” replied a Disney spokesperson, who added that while Chicken Little is in the hospital, his role on the website is being played by his understudy, Chicken George.
The news of Chicken Little’s ailment could not have come at a worse time for Disney. The studio has been using computer-generated animation at least since The Black Cauldron (1985), but Chicken Little was the first all-computer feature made entirely in-house.
“We put all our eggs in one basket,” sighed Minnie Mouse. “We were so busy counting our chickens we were caught by surprise when the disease was hatched.”
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