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Dallas Teacher Accuses Santa Claus of Planting News Stories

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DALLAS – A music teacher in a Dallas suburb told a class of six- and seven-year-old students that a favorable news story about Santa Claus in Our Weekly News, a popular elementary school news magazine, was a hoax. Marshall “Slim” Mathers, a teacher in Richland Elementary School, responded to a question about the story from one of his students by assuring her it was “fake.”

The student had been troubled by the story because it said that Santa Claus was bringing early presents to children left homeless by Hurricane Katrina.

“My daddy says those kids are living in luxury hotels with maid service, and now they’re going to get all the good presents,” said Amy Lynn Jenkins. “That’s not fair.”

Mr. Mathers told Jenkins the story was written by reporters “on Santa’s payroll,” who are given money to write good things about him. When the little girl didn’t seem convinced, Mr. Mathers told her, “It happens all the time in Iraq. Those e-mails you get from your pen-pal soldiers are all written by professional reporters, and the schools the soldiers are always talking about building are actually schools they blew up with all the children in them.”

Mr. Mathers’ comments earned him a reprimand and a two-week suspension without pay.

“We can’t have teachers criticizing the war effort,” said Tex Higgins, M.A., superintendent of the Richardson School District. “What sort of message does that send to our troops, never mind the terrorists.”

Higgins announced Mr. Mathers’ suspension at a press conference held in the school cafeteria. During the press conference Higgins read a letter that Mr. Mathers had received “from Santa Claus himself.”

“Tell all the boys and girls that I’ll have plenty of cool toys and clothes and rifles for them, too,” wrote Santa.

Higgins also read a letter from President Bush.

“I want all you children to know that I was responsible for the bad intelligence that led to the war on Iraq,” wrote Bush. “Nevertheless, it was the still the right war even if it was fought for the wrong reasons. If all you boys and girls tell your mommies and daddies that, I’ll come by and read you a story soon.”

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