DURHAM, N.C. – Duke University has reached out to a twenty-eight-year-old student-stripper known as Precious, who claims she was verbally abused while being raped and sodomized by three members of Duke’s lacrosse team at a party last March.
University president Richard H. Brodhead issued a statement yesterday, “with the full faith and backing of the university’s board of trustees,” guaranteeing legacy status to Baby Precious if any member of the Duke community is her father.
“A great university sets an example for its students in bad times as well as good,” said Mr. Brodhead, “and in bad times that grow out of good times. If one of our students is the father of Baby Precious, class of 2028, we want to show that student that the university is prepared to do its duty by this child just as the father should be.”
Legacy status, which was invented by Yale University in 1925 to counteract the increase in Jewish enrollment there, is a type of preference given by educational institutions to applicants with a familial relationship to a graduate of that institution.
According to a Princeton University study, a legacy candidate for admission receives a 160-point boost in his or her SAT scores. This bonus is actually less generous than the 185- to 230-point boosts given to affirmative action and to athletic applicants respectively. (The maximum score possible on the SAT exam is 1,600.)
“Because Baby Precious is at least half black, and therefore has a better-than-average chance of qualifying for admission as an athletic candidate as well as a legacy and an affirmative action candidate,” said President Brodhead, “Duke could conceivably wind up paying him or her to study here.”
In related news, there is some discrepancy concerning the date of Baby Precious’ birth. According to Durham District Attorney Mike Nifong, the baby is due in February because Precious did not become pregnant until at least two weeks after she had attended the party at which she claims to have been verbally abused and raped. Mr. Nifong’s statement was contradicted by Precious’ aunt Jakki and other family members, who say that Precious has already given birth.
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