WASHINGTON, D.C. – A recently published photo of President George W. Bush has Washington insiders wagging their heads and shaking their tongues in agitated speculation. The photo, published for the first time here in the pages of Postcards from the Pug Bus, shows a facet of the presidential profile not often seen in public.
We were inspired by this photo to construct a quiz that tests your knowledge of political gossip. There are few right answers in this quiz, just as there are in the Bush administration.
1. President Bush falls off his bicycle . . .
a) more times than most men his age; b) more times than the White House reports; c) more often than not; d) because he’s stupid; e) because he can.
2. In these pictures President Bush looks as if he has . . .
a) herpes; b) a lazy right eye; c) a lazy right brain; d) a raging hangover; e) no clue.
3. The growth of hair in the president’s ear is . . .
a) amusing; b) disgusting; c) smarter than he is; d) a family trait; e) his wife’s idea.
4. President Bush recently returned from . . . a) rehab; b) the bathroom; c) India; d) a coma; e) Aruba.
5. George Bush is to intelligence as horse crap is to . . . a) pate; b) ganache; c)manure; d) his mother; e) Secretariat.
6. History will remember George W. Bush as . . . a) one of Yale’s best male cheerleaders; b) the president who was drunk until he was forty; c) some guy whose father used to be president; d) a person who couldn’t ride a bike and talk at the same time; e) who?
7.The president is beaten regularly at Scrabble by . . . a) his sober daughter; b) his drunken daughter; c) his dog; d) Charlton Heston; e) Terri Schiavo.
8. Which of the following words cannot be made out of the letters in “George W. Bush”?
a) whore; b) bugger; c) shrub; d) brews; e) a silk purse.
9. The president’s name seems destined to be linked forever with . . .
a) garbled syntax; b) the goat story; c) his “heh, heh, heh” laugh; d) religious fanatics; e) Natalee Holloway.
10. Which of the following has the president seen ten times?
a) The Dukes of Hazzard; b) Jesus; c) Band Camp; d) ZZ Top; e) the inside of a library.
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