Ass Hats

Huff Post Scribbler Get Asshat Award for Setting New Lows in Virtue Signaling

Yo, Marlon, that hurts.

Huffington Post scribbler Cole Delbyck has got himself an ass hat for vowing never to watch Last Tango in Paris again. He put on his big-boy pants and proudly announced his resolve in a mawkish exercise in virtue signaling entitled, “That Famous Rape Scene In ‘Last Tango in Paris’ Was In Fact Not Consensual, Director Says.” In this exercise Mr. Delbyck declares in the first-person pompous, “We’ll never watch this film again.” What a twat. What an ass hat.

For Pug Bus fans younger than forty—and less intellectually constipated the Mr. Delbyck—Last Tango is the 1972 X-rated film starring Marlon Brando, 48, and Maria Schneider, 19. The two fall eagerly into a no-holes-barred, anonymous sexual relationship: the sort of zipless fuck(ing) that any 48-year-old man—nay, any man—would enjoy if he were so lucky.

Actually there was one hole barred in their frisky relationship—until Mr. Brando’s character took matters and a lump of butter into his own hands, and therein lies the rub for Mr. Delbyck. It seems that Mr. Brando and the film’s director, Bernardo Bertolucci, neglected to tell Miss Schneider that she was going to be sodomized in that “famous rape scene.” Whoops, our bad.

Their excuse? “To obtain something I think you have to be completely free,” said Mr. Bertolucci in a 2013 interview. “I didn’t want Maria to act her humiliation, her rage, I wanted Maria to feel … the rage and humiliation. Then she hated me for all [of her] life.”

Miss Schneider, in a 2007 interview, appeared to validate Mr. Bertolucci’s approach. “But during the scene, even though what Marlon was doing wasn’t real, I was crying real tears. I felt humiliated and, to be honest, I felt a little raped, both by Marlon and Bertolucci. After the scene, Marlon didn’t console me or apologize. Thankfully, there was just one take.”

All of this inspired Mr. Delbyck to resort to some serious virtue signaling: “(Pause to vomit.)” . . . “the film is even more disturbing than previously thought” . . . “(The entire disturbing scene is available on YouTube, but we’re not going to link to it.)”

Unlike Mr. Delbyck, who is too busy showing his readers how morally superior he is, and who does not trust them to decide for themselves whether they want to see what he’s talking about or not, I have no such self-congratulatory scruples. Ya wanna see it? Here it is.

The soundtrack of this clip is in Italian (I think), so viewers will miss out on Mr. Brando shouting, “I’ll show you which side your butt is buttered on.”
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