DENVER – Immigration rallies held across the United States yesterday failed to attract the large crowds that marked last year’s events or to generate the healthy sales of American flags seen last year.
In Denver, for example, 75,000 people marched in 2006, but only ten thousand demonstrated yesterday, said organizers, while Denver police put the number at no more than two thousand.
Meanwhile, flag vendor Cho Seung-Lo reported a drop in sales from roughly five thousand flags in Denver last year to fewer than four hundred this year.
Political analysts disagreed regarding the meaning of these phenomena. Commentators from the right, like Ann Coulter, said the relatively sparse turnouts “are indicative of the lack of initiative and sense of purpose” among illegal aliens.
“Those lazy bastards want everything handed to them, from driver’s licenses to the right to vote,” declared Ms. Coulter on her website today. “Perhaps if march organizers had sent limousines to pick up illegal aliens from cockfights behind 7-11s, there would have been a better turnout.”
Ms. Coulter also had little sympathy for “those goddamn slope bastards who profit from the sales of a flag their relatives are still burning in the sinkhole countries where they live on rice and rat droppings. If flag sales are down, that probably means Mexicans stole more flags this year.”
Air America’s Rachel Maddow called Ms. Coulter’s remarks crass and insensitive.
“Wing nuts like Ann Coulter threatened to fire their undocumented workers if they took the day off to attend a rally as they did last year,” said Ms. Maddow. “The drop in attendance from last year is a direct measure of the callousness of rich people, who are the chief employers of undocumented workers in this country.”
As for the drop in flag sales, said Ms. Maddow, that is down to the thriftiness of undocumented workers.
“These poor people are paid so wretchedly they have to make things last from one year to the next—shoes, cars, flags, you name it. They represent the last line of defense against the rampant consumerism that threatens to undermine Democratic values in this country.”
In other news, presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton is expected to hold a news conference today in which she will deny that her name appears on a list of DC Madam’s, Deborah Jeane Palfrey’s, clients.
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