LOS ANGELES – Johnny Depp realized a longtime dream when Keith Richards agreed to play Depp’s monkey in the third installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Mr. Depp, who used Mr. Richards’ trademark mincing gait and effeminate mannerisms as the “rhythm track” for his portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow in the original Pirates, had been considering Richards for a cameo role as Maceio Sparrow, Captain Jack’s wayward father. When script writer Roland Diaz added a rum-drinking, feces-flinging monkey named Captain Morgan to the script, however, Mr. Depp knew immediately that Mr. Richards was his primate.
“As soon as I saw the monkey in the storyboards, I thought of Keith,” laughed Mr. Depp, “I knew he was my man. His simian mouth and apelike stare are perfect for the role.”
Mr. Depp, who admits to having been a “a Keef fan forever,” said Mr. Richards wasn’t keen on the idea at first; but after “a dozen or so vodka-and-Tangs he grunted yes, picked a couple of fleas off his arm, and slouched off to pee in a corner.”
According to Mr. Depp, the monkey is befriended by Captain Sparrow during a layover at a whore house on a remote island in the Virgin Gordas. After Sparrow is back on the high seas, he discovers the monkey stealing hardtack and rum from the ship’s larder.
“Jack and the monkey develop a bond from there,” laughs Mr. Depp, “and the monkey winds up saving Jack’s ass more than once in sea battles.”
Although Mr. Richards has never appeared in a movie before, Mr. Depp doesn’t consider that an obstacle.
“There’s no dialog for Keith to learn, and he won’t have to spend a lot of time in make up,” said Mr. Depp. “The part’s made to order for him.”
In other news, the sponsors of the U.S. Women’s Open have granted Michelle Wie an exemption, thereby enabling her to participate in the eighteen-hole playoff round between Annika Sorenstam and Pat Hurst today, even though Ms. Wie faded in the stretch again to finish third after being tied for the lead with six holes to go yesterday.
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