(Two Stars Out of Four, Explicit Lyrics) As rap songs go, Kevin Federline’s “PopoZao,” the first single off his Straight Outta Malibu CD that will drop in the spring, slips easily into the middle of the 2 Pac—not great, not horrible, not chronic, not trash weed.
In fact “PopoZao” is dark years ahead of Mr. Federline’s last effort, “Y’all Ain’t Ready,” a rustic track that was leaked on the Internet a while back then promptly withdrawn. If “Y’all Ain’t Ready” proved anything, it proved that Mr. Federline, who referred to the paparazzi as the “Pavarottis,” wasn’t ready either.
“PopoZao,” for its part, demonstrates that Mr. Federline has been to school; and while he won’t graduate near the top of his class, his performance and his name recognition as Mr. Britney Spears should get him airplay. According to Mr. Federline, “PopoZao” was downloaded two million times in its first eight days on the Net.
“PopoZao” opens with its bridge—a cowbell-driven beat over which float a falsetto voice and devilish grunting, a shopworn but effective hell-is-heaven-on-earth metaphor. Precisely fifteen seconds later K-Fed glides confidently into the mix, rapping “Toy all your thing on me, baby; toy all your thing on me.”
If you closed your eyes and didn’t know Mr. Federline was Britney Sears’ husband, you’d think he was black or at least bi-racial. Having passed that cred test in another fifteen seconds flat, he raps, “Gatinha sai do chão, vai descendo o popozão; gatinha sai do chão, vai descendo o popozão.”
The introduction of Portuguese at this juncture has been dismissed by some critics, all of them white, as so much grandstanding, but this position is open to rebuttal. Given the prevalence of Ebonics in rap, a dialect that is indecipherable to most whites—who are rap’s principal consumers—Mr. Federline’s use of Portuguese will pass unnoticed to many listeners. Those who recognize it, however, will tumble to the conclusion that Mr. Federline is having a bit of a send up here.
To drive that point home, he continues, “In Portuguese it means ‘bring your ass on the floor and move it real fast. I want to see your kitty and a little bit of titty; want to know where I go when I’m your city?'”
The verses are the chief glory of “PopoZao,” and they can hold their own, literally or figuratively, with many rapper’s. Mr. Federline’s performance here may be too reminiscent of Outkast’s Andre 3000 for some people, but if you’re going to cop a feel, why not cop it from a pro?
A more global frame of reference is Beck’s Midnight Vultures CD, which was condemned by many as a parody of R&B at the same time that it was being praised as a tribute to that genre. This argument will no doubt swizzle around “PopoZao,” too. Does it mock the straight-outta-Compton crowd? Or is it a Straight Outta Malibu tribute to rap’s masters? Whatever it might be, at the end of the day, “PopoZao” ain’t all that bad.
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren’t looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.
