KATONAH, N.Y. – Ex-con Martha Stewart sent rapper and future con Lil’ Kim an e-mail “just to let my home girl know that gettin’ banged up ain’t the end of the world, see what I’m sayin’?”
Stewart, 63, sent the e-mail to Lil’ Kim, 30, after the Grammy-award winner, whose real name is Kimberly Jones, was sentenced yesterday to a year in jail for repeatedly lying to a grand jury in an attempt to protect friends who had been involved in a gun fight in New York in 2001. The shooting occurred as Lil’ Kim’s entourage was leaving hip-hop radio station Hot 97 and became involved in an altercation with a rival rap group that was arriving at the station.
“Prison will put U through some changes,” wrote Stewart, who was known in prison as M. Diddy. “I’d be trippin’ if I said it don’t, but if U keep on the down low for a while and don’t jump bad if one of the sisters wants to make U her bitch, U’ll be fly. Word up.”
Stewart certainly knows whereof she speaks. She did five months’ hard time at Alderson Federal Prison Camp in West Virginia, where she was sent last October following her conviction on four felony counts of lying and obstructing justice in a 2001 stock sale.
Stewart, who had entered prison a frumpy, Pillsbury-soft matron, emerged trim and somewhat butch looking in a denim jumpsuit, hemp necklace, and dreadlocks, having converted to Rastafarianism while at Alderson.
According to her soon-to-be-published prison diary, From Domestic Goddess to Ganja Queen (St. Martin’s Press, 352 pages, $24.95), Stewart’s conversion to Rastafarianism began at a Halloween party at Alderson when she ate two brownies and “the next thing I knew I couldn’t stop laughing, mon. I was relaxed for the first time in my earthly existence. That’s when I realized that my home is not in Babylon.”
Vowing to stop siding with “the downpressors,” Stewart borrowed a copy of Catch a Fire and a few Peter Tosh CDs from the prison library. Soon she had stopped washing or coloring her hair, and she had learned how to make “them righteous brownies what freed my mind.”
Despite her conversion to Rastafarianism and her newfound contempt for “them baldy heads,” Stewart did not abandon her considerable homemaking skills entirely. Indeed, the lifelike creche she made for the annual Christmas at Alderson Festival of the Lights Pageant is still fresh in warden Lanni Gear’s mind.
“I’ve never seen anything so convincing in all my years of prison work,” said Gear. “It’s amazing what that woman can do with sanitary napkins, aluminum foil, and pine cones.”
Stewart, who promised to overnight a copy of From Domestic Goddess to Ganja Queen to Lil’Kim, invited the rapper and “various members of your posse to peep out my crib and chill” some weekend soon.
“No matter how street U think U are,” said Stewart, “I’m not frontin’ when I say U can profit from my experience as an insider with genuine prison cred. For example, I can tell U what the sisters be meanin’ when they refer to U as ‘fresh fish.’ I also guarantee that ‘face time’ means a whole different thing in prison than it does in business meetings. True dat.”
In related news, an aide to Martha Stewart said that Stewart will soon change her middle name to Ma’isah, which means “sister who walks with a proud, swinging, slightly stoned gait.”
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