HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan has been accused of plagiarism by an eighth grade student in Omaha, Nebraska. The student, Shelly Atwater, is a member of Miss Leopold’s homeroom at John Glenn Middle School.
Ms. Atwater claims that parts of her essay on educational values, which was posted on Myspace.com on November 27 as part of a class project, were used without attribution by Ms. Lohan in an e-mail to unspecified persons in her Blackberry address book. That e-mail was subsequently printed in the “Page Six” column of the New York Post on December 7.
“I have compared the two documents,” said Ms. Leopold by phone from the teacher’s lounge at John Glenn Middle School, “and there is no doubt in my mind that Ms. Lohan took Shelly’s ideas and presented them essentially as her own.”
A comparison of the opening paragraphs of the two documents appears to confirm Miss Leopold’s belief. First, the gospel according to Shelly Atwater:
“The way of the future, most educators agree, lies in following politically and morally correct guidelines that are fully adequate to meet the needs of all students. These guidelines should present opinions about how members of our society should be educated for the betterment of our country. This is needed because education has such an impact on our younger generations, as it has had on older generations, which we all know and can obviously see. Without education people often resort to lying, but they cannot lie and think that it is OK to continue doing so.”
Next the gospel according to Lindsay Lohan:
“The way of the future-Howard Hughes once said. I am willing to release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite letter to the press if any of you are willing to help. Simply to state my oppinions on how our society should be educated on for the better of our country. Our people. Also because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see. People are just mean. I am going to proceed with putting LR to court if need be for what she’s done to me. Its my life. I want to live it. People cannot lie and think that it is okay to continue on having done so. Simply because they will do it again to someone else, and that is not alright with me.
Not wanting to put too sharp a point on the red pen, we won’t prolong this paragraph-by-paragraph comparison. Miss Leopold did observe, however, that even though she had given Ms. Atwater a B+ for her effort, Lindsay Lohan “would have been lucky to pass that assignment. Hasn’t that child ever heard of a spelling checker?”
Ms. Lohan’s publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, scoffed at the idea that her client would have to crib ideas from an eighth grader.
“Lindsay may not have completed high school,” said Ms. Zelnik, “but she is an avid reader and crossword-puzzle fanatic. I’ve seen her complete the Celebrity-Crostic in Them Weekly in no time flat.”
In other news, the White House denies that Vice President Cheney accidentally shot his pregnant daughter, Mary, in the stomach while he was cleaning his pellet gun.
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