Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Aims to Support U.S. Troops in Iraq

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HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan told Elle magazine that she wants to follow in the footsteps of her idol, Marilyn Monroe, by “entertaining our brave fighting men one soldier at a time.”

In a penetrating interview that lands like a smart bomb on newsstands today, the Herbie Fully Loaded actress said, “I want to do what Marilyn did when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops by herself. It’s so amazing seeing one woman with just her entourage going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who’s basically a pinup, which is what I’ve always aspired to be.”

Ms. Lohan, 20, apparently also aspires to be a hawkish Democrat. She revealed to Elle that she had been trying to visit Iraq with Senator Hillary Clinton “for like so long. I’ve TM’d her any number of times saying ‘next weekend’s cool for me, girl,’ but Hillary acted like she thought it was too dangerous or whatever.”

A spokesman for the former first lady acknowledged that Ms. Lohan—or someone purporting to be Ms. Lohan—had expressed an interest in going to Iraq.

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“We get those kinds of text messages all the time,” said the Clinton spokesman. “We usually blow them off by suggesting that if they really want to go, they could pursue doing so through the USO (United Services Organization).

“Are you saying that really was Lindsay Lohan? Is she a registered Democrat?”

Reaction to Ms. Lohan’s idea was equally skeptical in Hollywood.

“I’m not surprised that old firecrotch is looking for new plows for her furrow,” laughed Brandon Davis. “She’s done every young dude in the industry, and even a few old ones like Jeremy Piven and Bruce ‘Die Soft’ Willis.”

Other observers, while less caustic, were unimpressed.

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“That chick spends so much time in the hospital for heat exhaustion, what’s she going to do in Iraq?” said one starlet who asked to remain anonymous. “Does she plan to entertain the troops in her hospital bed?”

Ms. Lohan, however, insists she is serious about going to Iraq.

“I’m not afraid of going,” she said. “My security guard is taking me at a gun range, and I’m going to start shooting lessons. He says if I’m going to go there, I should know how to shoot.”

Elsewhere, news of Ms. Lohan’s proposed visit to Iraq was greeted with enthusiasm by one Marine on a peace keeping mission in Baghdad. “I’ve always been a huge fan of hers,” said the ninteen-year-old Marine, “and I love her husband Kid Rock’s music. I hope she brings him with her.”    

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