LOS ANGELES – Actress Lindsay Lohan said she owes “a debit of gratitude” to the organ donor whose appendix “saved my life.” The twenty-year-old singer-actress was admitted to Century Park Hospital on Thursday after medical tests performed the previous day had indicated she was suffering from appendicitis.
“I decided to have my appendix replaced before it could bust and cause real problems,” said Ms. Lohan. “I was scared I might have to wait a long time for a new appendix, but luckily a young woman about my age died of a brain clot, and I was able to get her appendix, which was perfectly healthy because the brain clot hadn’t spread to it yet.”
As always happens when Ms. Lohan is admitted to a hospital, rumors began circulating at once: she had overdosed; she was having an abortion; she was about to become the youngest person ever to need a liver transplant because of drug and alcohol abuse. One hater even wrote to a San Francisco newspaper, “She’s not an actress with a drinking problem; she’s a drinker with an acting problem.”
“That’s all rubbish,” said Ms. Lohan’s representative, Leslie Sloane Zelnick, to Them Weekly magazine. “She did have appendicitis, and that’s why she was in hospital.”
As for Ms. Lohan’s miraculous recovery from surgery—she was photographed leaving the hospital on foot the day after she had been admitted—Ms. Sloane Zelnick said, “Lindsay has always taken good care of herself, so it shouldn’t be surprising that she would bounce back quickly.”
In other news, former Phish guitarist Trey Anastasio showed up in court a week early for his OUI hearing.
“I coulda sworn the police dude said the third of January,” said Mr. Anastasio, who pleaded not guilty to a drug possession charge that a prosecutor said could be promoted to a felony now that the white powder found in Mr. Anastasio’s car the night he was arrested has been identified as heroin. Mr. Anastasio had told police previously that the white powder was “some plaster of Paris shit my daughters were playing with.”
Mr. Anastasio declined to talk with reporters as he left the courthouse, saying he had to get back to Burlington, Vermont, where he lives, to return some overdue books-on-tape to the library.
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