LOS ANGELES – Diva par excellence Mariah Carey, having mounted a successful comeback as a singer, now means to conquer the world of endorsements. The increasingly rotund Carey, thirty-six, huddled with executives from Jenny Craig in Aspen early last week to discuss the possibility of replacing Fat Actress star Kirsty Alley as the Jenny Craig Salt Lick Girl for 2006.
“Mariah still brings face recognition to the table, ” said Jenny Craig’s Heather Martin, “and this year her [posterior] has become a recognizable entity in its own right.”
Weight watchers have long been whispering that Alley, who is alleged to have dropped fifty pounds, has managed to pick up most of them again—and a few of their newfound friends.
“After eating herself into a contract with Jenny Craig, Kirsty seems determined to eat herself out of one,” said Maggie O’Brien, editor of Orca: The Magazine for the Ultra Petite.
Alley’s gain may be her loss, but Carey, meanwhile, has surrounded herself, literally. The pathologically insecure singer is reputed to have begun eating out of nervousness prior to the release of her CD The Emancipation of MiMi in April this year. As the CD climbed the charts, Carey persisted in climbing the refrigerator.
Despite the rejuvenation of her singing career, Carey continued to fret and to medicate herself with food. In November a bloated re-issue of The Emancipation of MiMi, containing four new songs, was introduced by a bloated version of Mariah Carey, containing about forty new pounds.
Sources close to the singer—or as close as they can get these days—told this reporter that Carey had intended to issue a completely new follow-up CD, tentatively entitled MiMi’s Livin’ Large, in time to cash in on the holiday market, but she ran out of breath after recording four new songs.
Carey has reputedly become so addicted to milkshakes that she hired a snack assistant to bring her milkshakes in paper cups during public appearances. (See photo at top of page.)
In related news, Carey’s latest number one single, “Don’t Forget About Us,” ties her with another portly performer, Elvis Presley, for second place among artists with number one Billboard hits in the rock era.
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