How much is that doggie in the barrel?
NEW YORK – While Michael Vick sits in jail trying to master the intricacies of checkers and the ins and outs of prison dating etiquette, he will surely take comfort in knowing that five of his most loyal homies have won the Ass Hat of the Moment award.
Atlanta Falcons cornerbacks DeAngelo “Bad Newz” Hall and Chris “Pit Bull” Houston, wide receivers Roddy “Choke Chain” White and Joe “Top Dog” Horn, and tight end Alge “Rape Stand” Crumpler were honored for demonstrating their support for Mr. Vick during Atlanta’s 34-14 loss to the New Orleans Saints on December 10.
Mr. Hall ran onto the field during pregame introductions waving a poster of Mr. Vick, which he taped to the back of the Falcons’ bench, where it remained until a member of the team’s public relations department removed it.
Messrs. Hall and Crumpler wore the inscription “MV-7″—Mr. Vick’s initials and uniform number—on their eye-black patches during the game.
Such run-of-the-mill demonstrations of “keepin’ it real” might not have risen to butthead level, so Messrs. White and Horn decided to screw the pooch, as it were, after Mr. White had scored on a 33-yard touchdown catch in the first quarter of the Falcon’s loss. Standing in the end zone, Mr. White pulled up his jersey, with an assist from Mr. Horn, to reveal a T-shirt that read “Free Mike Vick.”
“We done it and we’d do it again,” said Mr. Houston after the game.
Who let the dogs loose?
“It’s like Common said, ‘Why white folk focus on dogs and yoga, while people on the low end tryin’ to ball and get ova?'”
Mr. Houston did not indicate whether he and his teammates would be picketing next month’s International Yoga Conference, scheduled to be held in Atlanta.
In related news, former Atlanta Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino told Sports Illustrated that his decision to resign following the loss to New Orleans was “a direct result” of his players’ support for Michael Vick.
“Have you ever tried to coach a bunch of knuckleheads who are more concerned about some animal abuser than they are with learning the playbook?” asked Mr. Petrino, who is now the head coach at Arkansas.
“After putting up with that shit, the basic, garden variety rape and stereo-equipment theft will seem like child’s play.”
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