WASHINGTON–Demonstrating a seldom-seen willingness to engage with members of Congress on a personal level, President Barack Obama invited lawmakers who vote “yea” on his proposed bombing of Syria to attend a bipartisan White House screening of that event.
According to the White House, all 535 members of Congress have received a party-style invitation via email, digitally signed by the president, asking them to attend the screening, which is scheduled for Sunday September 15. Those who voted in support of the president will be able to watch U.S. smart-bombs obliterate selected Syrian targets in high-definition IMAX format.
Entertainment at the screening will be provided by the Joseph R. Biden Players. Finger foods will be served, and there will be an open bar before and after the bombing, which will be followed by an Assad roast in the White House dining room. Closing ceremonies will feature a fireworks display on the south lawn.
Although Democratic leaders applauded the president’s initiative, some Republicans were critical.
“Bashar al-Assad is euphoric about the president’s announcement,” said Senator John McCain. “You never telegraph when you’re going to strike an adversary. By setting a date for the screening, the president has given Mr. Assad a strategic advantage.”
“Once again the president has demonstrated just how tone deaf he is,” complained Senator Lindsey Graham. “Finger foods are elitist. He should have served something more patriotic, like barbecue.”
Vice President Biden disagreed.
“Republicans are pissed because this is such a brilliant idea, and they are obviously out of ideas. They’re gonna be even more pissed when they see The Joseph R. Biden Players do their John Boehner rodeo clown skit.”
In related news: Prime Minister David Cameron of England, who was humiliated when parliament refused to authorize him to participate in the bombing of Syria, says that in retrospect he should have thought “outside the box” like President Obama did. “Those Prince George souvenir key chains I gave to members of Parliament were no as effective as I thought they would be.”
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