WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The Pug Bus learned overnight that President Barack Obama has unfriended Russian president Vladimir Putin on Facebook in retaliation for Mr. Putin’s offering temporary asylum to Edward Snowden. The news sent shock waves through the Facebook and international communities, triggering speculation of a return to Cold War status between the two nations.
“This is a big fucking deal,” said Vice President Joe Biden. “B-Rack has never unfriended anybody as far as I know,” he said, referring to Mr. Obama by his Facebook screen name. “He’s threatened to do it to John Boehner several times, but in the end B-Rack’s a consensus kinda guy.”
Mr. Putin was not available for comment, but a recent posting to his Facebook page (screen name “Putin This”), suggest he is not taking lightly to being unfriended.
“What is black on the outside and white on the inside?” Mr. Putin asked?
“An Oreo president,” came the reply.
As yet no other members of the American or Russian hierarchies have unfriended their diplomatic or governmental counterparts, aside from Senator John McCain (R-AZ), who accidentally unfriended everyone on his Facebook account early today, something he has done several times in the past. Nevertheless many observers say that tension between the two nations has not been this high since the Cuban Missile Crisis.
“All it will take for an international Facebook war to break out will be for one hothead diplomat to unfriend all his Russian contacts,” said Secretary of State John Kerry. “From there it’s only a small step to an all-out Facebook war, and if that spreads to Twitter, the world might never be the same.”
© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren’t looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.