postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Sporting Life

Tom Brady’s Head Deflates at Press Conference

philmaggitti 432 Views 1 min read

As Tom Brady denied any wrongdoing in the illegal deflation of the footballs used by his New England Patriots in the first half of their 45-7 beat down of the Indianapolis Colts last Sunday, reporters at Mr. Brady’s press conference began to murmur among themselves uneasily. Their discomfort was not caused by the absurdity of Read More

Saints Alive

Andre Bissette, the Patron Saint of Viagra

philmaggitti 504 Views 2 min read

The Catholic Church “teaches” that god calls each one of us to be a saint. Most people treat such invitations as crank calls, but your more impressionable types scurry out to get fitted for a sackcloth hoodie and a bed of nails. One such loser was André Bessette (1845-1937), whose feast day is celebrated today. Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

How Well Do You Know Schrödinger’s Cat?

philmaggitti 389 Views 1 min read

For most of us Schrödinger’s cat is a meme without a meaning. Chances are we have seen a reference to this elusive feline somewhere in a book, article, movie, or television show; but chances are equal that we really don’t know fuck-all about this creature. Therefore, the Pug Bus has devised the following quiz about Read More

Technology

Edward Snowden Leaks NSA Abuse of Movie Pirating Protocol

philmaggitti 428 Views 7 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–In perhaps his most controversial revelation yet, Edward Snowden has leaked details of the National Security Agency (NSA) misuse of the protocol for pirating movies. The latest Snowden leak reveals that NSA employees who are supposed to be monitoring movie piracy are actually pirating movies themselves. This information was published simultaneously in the Washington Read More

Blog

Postcards from the Pug Bus On Holiday

philmaggitti 440 Views 1 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Postcards from the Pug Bus, southeastern Pennsylvania’s slowest-growing satire site, is going on holiday. As several members of our entourage are not permitted to leave the commonwealth, we will be vacationing in lovely, 99.9-percent-rural Tioga County, four hours and at least two worlds from our house. We regret the inconvenience to our dozens Read More

ReligionSporting Life

God Is Only Ninth in Fantasy Football League

Biff Scuzzy 599 Views 2 min read

WILMINGTON, De.–The Lord God of Hosts is more than a little frustrated by his ninth-place standing in the twelve-team Wilmington, Delaware, North fantasy football league. At the midpoint of the 2013-14 season, the Heavenly Father’s IntelligentDesigners team is 2-6 in league competition. “We could just as soon be winless if it weren’t for a couple Read More

The Grammar Prick

The Grammar Prick Says Leave God Out of It

philmaggitti 448 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–While the Grammar Prick was watching a football game on television recently, an announcer declared, “Quarterbacks like Peyton Manning are a godsend.” What is wrong with that statement, boys and girls? 1) Peyton Manning, despite his success during the regular season, has a crap record in playoff games and has won just one Read More

Religion

Pope Francis OK with Miley Cyrus Remark

philmaggitti 507 Views 1 min read

VATICAN CITY–Pope Francis told the website Hunger TV that people should not be so quick to condemn Miley Cyrus for saying she didn’t want some “seventy-year-old Jewish man that doesn’t leave his desk all day, telling me what the clubs want to hear.” Speaking via Skype, his holiness said, “The young people I follow on Read More

Technology

New iPad 5 Will Introduce Fading Keypad Letters

Chip Hilton 648 Views 2 min read

CUPERTINO, Ca.–The big whisper from the Apple campus here in Cupertino is that Apple’s new iPad 5 and iPad Mimi 2 will introduce fading keypad letters. This innovation, one of several iPad redesign elements in the offing, has the potential to be the breakout star of Apple’s fall launch event scheduled for October 22. “Our Read More

Religion

Chinese Altar Breads Flooding American Market

philmaggitti 411 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The ultra-competitive altar bread market has been thrown into a cocked miter by the emergence of Chinese players in this sacramental arena, but at least one of their American counterparts does not seem inclined to turn the other cheek. “We are a Christian nation, and they have the audacity to sell sweatshop altar breads over Read More

News

Pennsylvania Governor Compares Same-Sex Marriage To Incest

philmaggitti 518 Views 2 min read

HARRISBURG, Pa.—During an interview broadcast yesterday on CBS 21 News in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, Republican Governor Tom Corbett was asked by anchor person Sherry Christian about a statement made by his lawyers comparing the marriage of a gay couple to the marriage of a pair of twelve-year-olds. Gov. Corbett, 64, who faces a tough re-election challenge Read More

Sporting Life

WNBA Finals Will Proceed Despite Government Shutdown

philmaggitti 455 Views 1 min read

NEW YORK–Proving once again that it is capable of meeting any challenge, the Women’s National Basketball Association (WNBA) announced today that it will hold its championship series as scheduled, beginning this Sunday in Minneapolis, despite the current government shutdown. “We know that a lot of people may have been distracted (from the upcoming finals) by Read More