postcards from the pug bus – Page 18 – lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

The Grammar Prick Fingers Three Who Misused Begs the Question

philmaggitti 427 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna, – Hello, boys and girls. The Grammar Prick has a treat for you today. Instead of our regular quiz designed to irritate you and to undermine your confidence in your “language arts skills,” we’re going to present our first Helmet Head® awards, which are designed to irritate “professionals” whose “language arts skills” Read More

Culture Portal

President Obama Restores the Serial Comma to Federal Stylebook

philmaggitti 385 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Barack Obama is expected to sign an executive order today that will reinstate the rules regarding the use of the serial comma to the Federal Elements of Style, the official guidebook for matters of grammar and usage in federal documents. The signing, accompanied by virtually no fanfare, is typical of the low-key Read More

Politics

Cornel West Reveals Where He Plans to Get Arrested Next

Biff Scuzzy 424 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Cornel West is on a roll. The silver-tongued, fuzzy-headed, musty-looking Princetonian has been arrested twice in the last seven days. What’s more, according to a communication he sent to this website yesterday, he hasn’t taken his last ride in a paddy wagon yet. Dr. West, 58, emailed a list of his Read More

The Grammar Prick

The Grammar Prick Sticks It to The Neosecularist and ESPN

philmaggitti 456 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – While navigating the backwaters of the internet yesterday, I nearly ran aground on a website entitled The Neosecularist. What brought me up startled was this sentence: “There is some graphic descriptions of abortion procedures in this column.” Harrumph, I said to myself, and there is a graphic example of a language abortion Read More

Religion

God Blasts Rick Perry over Intelligent Design and Celebrity Photo Books

Biff Scuzzy 426 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a statement faxed to the editor of THEM Weekly magazine, God the Father Almighty chided presidential candidate Rick Perry for using the theory of intelligent design “to suck up to people who claim they speak for me or, worse yet, people who claim that I have spoken directly to them.” God explained that Read More

Technology

First Steve Jobs Miracles Reported, Brown Declares Steve Jobs Day

philmaggitti 435 Views 3 min read

CUPERTINO, Calif. – As initial reports of the first miracles credited to the divine intervention of Steve Jobs began flickering across the digital divide, California Governor Jerry Brown declared Sunday October 16 “Steve Jobs Day” in Mr. Jobs’s home state of California. Mr. Brown tweeted the announcement last night, using the Twitter app on his Read More

Politics Sporting Life

President Obama Threatens NBA Players Who Sign with Foreign Teams

philmaggitti 418 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Barack Obama said today that National Basketball Association (NBA) players who sign with “foreign teams” during the current NBA lockout will be taxed heavily for their “selfish, un-American behavior.” Speaking from his all-weather, solar-heated basketball court at the White House, the president said he was “tired of American businessmen moving jobs Read More

Sporting Life

NBA Players Union To Decertify, Regroup as Shopper’s Club

philmaggitti 407 Views 1 min read

New YORK – Claiming that the National Basketball Association owners latest contract offer will make it “more difficult for us to keep food on the table,” the NBA players union has voted unanimously to disband. The move will give the players an opportunity to pursue a multibillion-dollar antitrust lawsuit against the league. The move could Read More

Ass Hats

Representative Lamar Smith Is the Ass Hat of the Moment

philmaggitti 448 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Lamar Smith, chairman of the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee, is the latest winner of the Postcards from the Pug Bug Ass Hat of theMoment award. Mr. Smith (R-Texas) earned this highly influential prize by sponsoring a bill that encapsulates all that is cynical, imperialistic, and reprehensible about the attitudes of Read More

Sporting Life

Tim Lincecum Blames His Dog, Others for Trashing Townhouse

Chip Hilton 399 Views 2 min read

SAN FRANCISCO – Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum blames his dog, Cy, and others for the damage caused to a townhouse formerly occupied by Mr. Lincecum in San Francisco’s Mission District. In a disjointed phone call to The Jim Rome Show yesterday, Mr. Lincecum (13-14, 2.74 ERA) explained that his four-year-old French bulldog suffers from separation anxiety and Read More

News

Amanda Knox Bags High Paying American Express Ad

philmaggitti 405 Views 2 min read

Amanda Knox: My Life, My Card My name . . . Amanda Knox nickname . . . Foxy Knoxy© perfect day . . . not coming home to a dead roommate greatest disappointment . . . not being able to finish sleeping my way around Italy childhood ambition . . . that my childhood be Read More

The Grammar Prick

The Grammar Prick Rides Hobson’s Choice to Victory

philmaggitti 440 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, PA—While simultaneously watching The Hour on BBC America last night and reading Nina Burleigh’s The Fatal Gift of Beauty: The Trials of Amanda Knox, I heard one of the characters on The Hour refer to a choice between two unpleasant alternatives as a “Hobson’s choice.” “Bloody hell,” I muttered. “That’s not a Hobson’s choice. It’s a Morton’s fork. Read More

Culture

Raffaele Sollecito Eager to Step Out of Amanda Knox’s Shadow

philmaggitti 399 Views 3 min read

PERUGIA, Italy – No matter what happens when an Italian court reaches a verdict in the appeals trial of Raffaele Sollecito and Amanda Knox today, Mr. Sollecito says he is ready to be “my own man (un uomo con grandi testicoli),” not “a puppy on a leash,” as he has been called by the Italian Read More

News

PETA Rallies Snails Rights Advocates In Florida

Biff Scuzzy 437 Views 3 min read

MIAMI – Snails rights advocates picketed outside the Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables yesterday to protest the addition of giant African snails to the menu of the hotel’s Palme d’Or restaurant. Members of the PETA group, which was estimated at “around a dozen” by local police, walked slowly—one is tempted to say sluggishly— in front Read More

Technology

Trey Anastasio App Pulled by Google, Phish Fans Bummed

philmaggitti 417 Views 2 min read

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – In a move that is certain to harsh the mellows of thousands of Phish fans, Google announced late yesterday that it has cancelled the release of the greatly anticipated Trey Anastasio app, which had been scheduled for release at 4:20 a.m. today, the singer’s forty-seventh birthday. Ronald Forbin, chief of quality Read More