postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Music

Britney Spears’ New CD in Starbucks Tuesday

philmaggitti 361 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – The long-awaited new Britney Spears CD, Here I Come Again, will go on sale at all Starbucks outlets around the world on Tuesday. A source close to the project told Billboard magazine that Ms. Spears chose Starbucks because “it has always been her refuge” whenever she felt misunderstood. “No matter what lies the false tabloids Read More

Sporting Life

Rush Limbaugh Says Donovan McNabb Coddled by Philly Press

philmaggitti 378 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – According to Rush Limbaugh, Donovan McNabb is being protected by the Philadelphia press, which has orchestrated “a shameful and concerted news blackout” of remarks Mr. McNabb made about Michael Vick to the Washington Post and other news sources. In the Post interview, published two days ago, Mr. McNabb declared, “I’m a supporter of Vick.” Mr. McNabb Read More

Sporting Life

Michael Vick Severs Ties with PRCA and Skoal

philmaggitti 414 Views 2 min read

NEWPORT NEWS, Vir. – A lawyer for suspended Atlanta Falcons quarterback, Michael Vick, announced today that Mr. Vick was severing his ties with the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association (PCRA) and with Skoal, the makers of smokeless tobacco. “Michael Vick recognizes his responsibilities as a role model to his fans,” said Dutch Williamson. “Therefore, he is Read More

Sporting Life

Michael Vick’s Dog House Program Busts Britney Spears

philmaggitti 398 Views 1 min read

NEWPORT NEWS, Vir. – Michael Vick’s Dog House, a one-minute segment of social commentary, debuted on radio station WCUR in Newport News, Virginia, during morning drive time yesterday. Sponsored by Chomp, the nation’s leading manufacturer of quality steel-jaw leghold traps and other restraining devices, Michael Vick’s Dog house promises to put the bite on the Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Rules in I Know Who Killed Me

Chip Hilton 408 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Lindsay Lohan rules the screen in Tri Star Pictures I Know Who Killed Me in which she plays Aubrey Fleming, an aspiring actress attending college in New Salem, a small but idyllic college town. Aubrey, who bears a startling resemblance to a troubled young actress named Dakota Moss, disappears one night on her Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Innocent of Cocaine Possession Says LAPD

Chip Hilton 392 Views 1 min read

LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan, who was arrested for cocaine possession and driving under the influence of alcohol Tuesday, has been cleared of the cocaine charge, according to a member of the Los Angeles Police Department. “After reading Lindsay’s email to Billy Bush at Access Hollywood, the one where she said it wasn’t her cocaine we Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI Again, Exclusive Timeline

philmaggitti 421 Views 6 min read

LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan was arrested for DUI and cocaine possession yesterday, offenses that are, coincidentally, quite similar to the ones that occasioned her surrender to the Beverly Hills police six days ago. “Lindsay fell off the wagon and was dragged a few blocks,” said her representative, Leslie Sloan Zelnick-Sloan, “but she is in Read More

Sporting Life

Michael Vick Puppy Soccer Game Pulled by Madden

Biff Scuzzy 436 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – Michael Vick’s Ultimate Puppy Soccer (UPS), a high-concept video game that had been scheduled for a September release, has been pulled by the Madden Group following allegations that Mr. Vick hosted actual soccer games in which puppies were used instead of balls at his southeast Virginia retreat. “We were all set to Read More

News

Mike Huckabee Says Michael Moore Has Manboobs

Biff Scuzzy 451 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee challenged Sicko creator Michael Moore “to take off his shirt and show us what he’s hiding.” Mr. Huckabee also charged that Mr. Moore’s body mass index is so high he’ll soon have to breathe by blowing water through a hole in the middle of his shoulders. “Anybody with a set Read More

Music

Live Earth Event Planned to Fix Live Earth Concerts Damage

philmaggitti 443 Views 2 min read

LONDON – Last Saturday’s Live Earth concerts were such an environmental disaster that concert organizers plan to schedule another, more environmentally neutral event to offset the damage done by the first one. “In terms of carbon footprints, Live Earth was somewhere between Sasquatch and Jennifer Hudson,” admitted former president-elect Al Gore, the brains behind the Read More

Portal

President Bush Commutes Harry Potter Death Sentence

Biff Scuzzy 411 Views 1 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush announced yesterday that he is prepared to commute Harry Potter’s death sentence should he die in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the seventh and final book in the grossly popular series. “I respect J.R. Rowling and her decisions as an author,” said Mr. Bush in a written statement, Read More

Sporting Life

Michelle Wie Enters Rehab

Chip Hilton 419 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Michelle Wie checked into a Promises residential treatment center early Sunday afternoon to seek help in battling what she called “like, a minor substance thing.” Looking not at all like the emotional wreck who walked off a golf course in North Carolina the previous day, sobbing and mumbling to herself, Ms. Wie Read More

Culture

Sicko Message Belied by Weinstein Company’s Tactics

philmaggitti 403 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The message of Michael Moore’s Sicko, that the health-care-system deck in this country is stacked against poor people, is belied by the ethically questionable campaign of the film’s distributor, the Weinstein Company, to deny access to “their” film and its empowering message to anyone who can’t afford the price of admission. The Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Brokered Spice Girls Reunion

Chip Hilton 407 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – The Spice Girls are reuniting for a world tour, and we can thank Tom Cruise for that. The diminutive actor is rumored to have stepped in and brokered the reunion deal after negotiations between Geri Halliwell (Old Spice) and the rest of the group had broken down. Ms. Halliwell, 34, left the Read More