postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Culture

Paul McCartney Tea Flavor Coming to Starbucks

philmaggitti 390 Views 2 min read

SEATTLE – Starbucks will introduce McTwee, a new flavor of camellia sinensis, commonly known as tea, as part of its upcoming International Paul McCartney Day celebrations on Tuesday June 5. In addition to playing Mr. McCartney’s new CD, Memory Almost Full, all day long at more then ten thousand Starbucks outlets in twenty-nine countries and territories Read More

Music

Paul McCartney CD Rocks the Home Shopping Network

philmaggitti 409 Views 5 min read

        WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Spoiler alert: if you’re a Paul McCartney fan with a weak heart, a receding hairline, or a “cool” kid on the debate team at high school, stop reading now. What follows won’t be a silly love song, Uncle Albert. This being said, it should also be said that Read More

News

Zoellick at World Bank Is Not Just Another Pretty Face

Biff Scuzzy 426 Views 1 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Robert Zoellick, whom President Bush has nominated to head the World Bank, was chosen largely because “he is not just another pretty face,” said a White House source yesterday. According to the source, President Bush “learned his lesson the hard way” after Paul Wolfowitz had made one too many unauthorized deposits in Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Model Recalled by Mercedes-Benz

philmaggitti 394 Views 3 min read

MONTVALE, N.J. – Mercedes-Benz USA is recalling its Lindsay Lohan SL65 model. The most powerful production SL model offered by Mercedes, the SL65 features a 604-horsepower, twin-turbocharged V-12 engine and more overall modifications than Joan Rivers. The recall was not unexpected in view of the Lohan SL65’s collision with a curb and several trees in Read More

Culture

Tony Soprano Will Die in Final Harry Potter Book

philmaggitti 413 Views 3 min read

LONDON – According to someone named “Christopher” writing on The Leaky Cauldron website, Tony Soprano will die in the final Harry Potter book, Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. “Tony lures Furio Giunta back from Italy in order to get revenge on him,” writes Christopher, “because Tony’s had a hard on for Furio ever since Carmella Read More

Politics

President Bush Hails Killing of One-Legged Taliban Leader

philmaggitti 421 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush hailed the killing of the Taliban’s top one-legged military strategist, Mullah Dadullah, as a “sure sign” the United States “has turned the corner” in the war on handicapped terrorists. “In the end, like all handicapped enemies of freedom, [Dadullah] didn’t have a leg to stand on,” said the Read More

News

Alert Clerk Foils Fort Dix Delivery from Allah

philmaggitti 427 Views 3 min read

FORT Dix, N.J. – Another alert clerk has foiled an attempt to compromise United States interests at the Fort Dix army base in New Jersey. The clerk, whose name is being withheld at the request of military officials, works at a UPS store in Centerville, Delaware. The unnamed clerk became suspicious when a bearded man Read More

Celebrities

Antonella Barba Enters Rehab

Chip Hilton 420 Views 2 min read

WARMINSTER, Penna. – After being sent down by American Idol voters last night, Antonella Barba announced through her publicist that she would enter the Bucks County Hospital in Warminster, Pennsylvania, this weekend to begin treatment for an unspecified condition. Bloggers across the United States responded to this announcement wth a collective chubby, tripping all over their keyboards Read More

News

Angelina Jolie to Replace Paul Wolfowitz at World Bank

Chip Hilton 394 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Angelina Jolie has been tapped to replace Paul Wolfowitz as president of the World Bank. President Bush is expected to delay making the formal announcement until early next week, however, in order to give Mr. Wolfowitz time to gild his parachute, and Mr. Bush time to prepare for his Saturday Night Live appearance with Read More

Celebrities

Paris Hilton Fires Publicist, Astrologer, Chef

philmaggitti 420 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Paris Hilton has come out swinging after being sentenced to spend forty-five days behind bars. The twenty-six year-old socialite fired her publicist, her astrologer, and her chef yesterday in an apparent effort to prove that she meant what she said when she told a Los Angeles judge, “I’m going to start paying Read More

Celebrities

Paris Hilton Begs President Bush for Pardon

Biff Scuzzy 435 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – A desperate Paris Hilton has faxed a personal request to President George W. Bush, asking him to set aside her jail sentence “for the sake of all the poor, less fortunate people in our country.” The twenty-six-year-old celebrity was ordered by a Los Angeles judge on Friday to do forty-five days hard Read More

Innerviews

Paris Hilton Exclusive Jail Sentence Interview

Chip Hilton 468 Views 4 min read

LOS ANGELES – Paris Hilton has been sentenced to forty-five days in a county jail for violating the terms of her drunk-driving probation by operating a motor vehicle with a suspended license. The twenty-six-year-old celebutant, who showed up fifteen minutes late for her scheduled court appearance yesterday, has until June 5 to report to the Read More