postcards from the pug bus

WEST CHESTER, PA—Although we celebrate National Kick the Cat Day, we do not advocate kicking cats literally; and we hasten to assure you that no cats were harmed during the writing of this monograph. We celebrate, instead, the existential notion of “kicking the cat” as a means of relieving stress, anger, hostility, rage, or sexual Read More

WEST CHESTER, PA—It may be impossible to be too rich or too thin, but it is possible to have too much titty. More than a mouthful is a waste, for sure, and over-endowed women whose bra straps have dug ruts into their shoulders seek more than 90,000 breast reductions each year in the United States. This from Read More

WEST CHESTER, PA—Good things come to those who wait and to those who can wait to come. Bad things, unfortunately, are the fate of the one in five men between the ages of eighteen and fifty-nine who suffer from the social scourge of premature ejaculation (PE), which is also the most common sexual cock-up affecting men under Read More

WEST CHESTER, PA—Today our divided nation unites in the observation of National Blivit Day. According to Reader’s Digest, where blivit first appeared in a 1945 column called “Humor in Uniform,” a blivit was originally defined as “ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag.” The bag, either cloth or paper, was used by flyers to dispose of #2, Read More

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Before we fusilade the fireworks in celebration of National Earworm Day, we must observe that said day is the only national day (so far) to have it own patron saint. That’s right all Catholic, Anglican, and Lutheran boys and girls suffering from an earworm, a scrap of a song that gets stuck in Read More

WASHINGTON, D.C.–The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) will issue a two-finger proclamation sometime today, declaring that (1) January 3 will henceforth and hereinafter be known as National AARP Senior Sperm Day and (2) sperm samples provided by men older than fifty-five will compete in a seniors division in laboratory fertility tests. The AARP declaration Read More