Culture

Paul McCartney Tea Flavor Coming to Starbucks

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SEATTLE – Starbucks will introduce McTwee, a new flavor of camellia sinensis, commonly known as tea, as part of its upcoming International Paul McCartney Day celebrations on Tuesday June 5.

In addition to playing Mr. McCartney’s new CD, Memory Almost Full, all day long at more then ten thousand Starbucks outlets in twenty-nine countries and territories around the world, the house that caffeine built will give away free samples of McTwee to everyone who purchases Mr. McCartney’s CD and can name three songs that he has recorded since leaving Wings.

Described by one Starbucks insider as being “easy on the pallet, like a string section in a soft, romantic, acoustic-guitar-played-left-handed ballad,” McTwee is a non-caffeinated, calorie-free, organic white tea that can be enjoyed “either warm or cold by people of all ages.” It can also be smoked, which is how Mr. McCartney is said to enjoy it best, by persons desiring a more full-bodied reaction to its “hidden-track” undertones.

“Like all white teas, McTwee is elegant and lightweight at the same time and doesn’t make any demands on the customer,” said Venti Delachrome, a Starbucks marketing representative. “It has a wispy flavor redolent of blackberries, but without any trace of the more assertive strawberry fields flavor that overwhelms some white teas. Sir Paul is virtually addicted to it.”

Starbucks certifies that McTwee is derived exclusively from tea bushes grown on the fifteen estates in the Cameron Highlands, Malaysia, and the dozens of other estates that Mr. McCartney owns around the world.

In related news, the Food Network announced that Chefs on the Run, a cooking program directed by Ridley Scott and featuring Paul McCartney—and, through the miracle of CGI, his dead wife Linda—preparing vegetarian recipes in fans’ houses around the world, is set for a midsummer debut.    

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