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Post Office Will Issue Trayvon Martin Stamp

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Trayvon Martin, whose only crime was winning a fight, will be a winner in death thanks to the United States Postal Service, which will issue a Trayvon Martin commemorative stamp on September 1.

The handsome stamp, bearing the iconic likeness of Mr. Martin dressed in a hoodie, will be introduced at a special ceremony to be held at the Winn-Dixie in Sanford, Florida, where Mr. Martin purchased a large bag of Skittles® and a 32-ounce pineapple soda the night that he was stalked and ultimately murdered by George Zimmerman.

“If I had a son who had been murdered and was commemorated on a stamp, he’d look like Trayvon,” said President Barack Obama at a news conference in the White House Rose Garden yesterday.

Postal service chief of staff, C. Randall Disher, also spoke at the ceremony.

“As soon as George Zimmerman was set free last Saturday night, we started receiving emails from people looking for a way to honor Trayvon’s memory,” said Mr. Disher.

Noting that the Post Office was “not unacquainted with senseless shootings,” Mr. Disher revealed that the Trayvon Martin stamp was designed by Shepard Fairey, who also designed the Barack Obama hope poster used in Mr. Obama’s first successful bid for the White House.

“We couldn’t think of a better person to design a stamp in honor of someone who would look like President Obama if he were still lving,” said Mr. Disher, noting that tickets to the stamp-introduction ceremony at the Winn-Dixie would go on sale through Jay-Z-Master Tickets on August 4.

Reaction to the Postal Office’s announcement was gleeful, but measured.

“It’s about damn time,” said civil rights activist and television personality Al Sharpton. “This should have been done ages ago. Black people can’t even get no damn stamp justice in this country. As soon as I get back from a We Are All Trayvon rally in Brentwood, California, I’m gonna organize a protest in front of the Post Office in Washington.”

In other Trayvon Martin news: Baby Mamas ‘R’ Us is reporting a spike in the popularity of Trayvon as a first name for children born to black mothers during the month of June. Trayvon also placed a surprising fourth among surnames chosen for children born to black mothers who weren’t sure of their babies’ paternity.

In still other Trayvon Martin news: lesbian and talk show host Ellen Degeneres announced yesterday that she was going to adopt a dog, name it Trayvon, and then give it away without informing the shelter where she got the dog.    

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