Music

Rolling Stones Inspired by Super Bowl Appearance

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DETROIT – The Rolling Stones came away from their high-energy, twelve-minute appearance at Super Bowl XL with a renewed enthusiasm about performing. The concert, which was hailed by many Stones fans as the group’s “best in several decades,” was a revelation to Mick Jagger as well.

At a press conference immediately following the Super Bowl, Jagger announced that the Stones would restructure their future concerts into two fifteen-minute sets with a half-hour intermission between them. During that intermission fans will be entertained with concert footage from vintage Stones tours, 1969-1972.

“I was amazed at how much better we were at this length (twelve minutes),” said a grinning Jagger in a faux Cockney accent last night. “More energy, more focus. Charlie didn’t nod off once; Keith and Ronnie didn’t get sloppy the way they usually do after an hour or so; and Bill, oh, that’s right. Bill quit a while back, din ‘e? That colored chap who replaced him is quite good, don’t you think?

“Even though we were limited to twelve minutes tonight, I felt we had one more good song in us,” Jagger continued. “That’s why we settled on the fifteen-minute format.”

Jagger also announced that in consideration of reducing their concert length the Stones would scale back ticket prices. Top seats, which had sold for $350, will be reduced to $300, while the least expensive seats, generally $75 to $90, will cost between $65 and $70.

The reaction of Stones fans to Jagger’s announcement was mostly favorable.

“I’ve wanted to take my grandchildren to a Stones show for some time now,” said George Strachan, a retired accountant from Trenton, New Jersey. “But to tell the truth, I seldom listen to the Stones at home any more, and the thought of sitting—or worse yet standing—through two hours of their music put me off.”

More avid Stones were equally pleased.

“Me and my old lady try to catch three or four Stones shows on every tour,” said Mike Costanza, an auto mechanic from Detroit. “After the second show, however, it’s just like watching reruns on TV—same songs in the same order every night. Maybe now that they’ll be playing only eight songs a night they can vary the set list.”

In related news, the Rolling Stones announced a new initiative to boost their disappointing album sales. All new Stones albums, which will be thirty-minutes in length, will sell for $2 (US) and will be mailed to everyone who buys a ticket to a Stones show.

“We’ll build the cost of the album right into the ticket price,” said Jagger. “We play to millions of people on each tour, but for some reason they haven’t bought our new albums, until now.”    

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