COLUMBIA, Mo.—Poop Swastika Truthers took one in the shorts recently with the release of a University of Missouri police department report confirming that someone did indeed grab a handful of shit and draw a swastika on a co-ed bathroom wall in a university dorm. The swastika, whose existence had been questioned by various right-wing media sorts, has been cited as one of the outrages that inspired campus protests by black Mizzou students.
If you’re wondering why black folk were suddenly so sensitive about anti-semitism on campus, stop. These are college kids. Their capacity for outrage and misdirected blame is exquisite. They even got their dashikis in a twist over an off-campus incident in which some dudes in a pickup truck allegedly called the openly gay black student body president of Mizzou, Payton Head—oh, you can probably guess what they allegedly called him.
We’re saying allegedly here because Mr. Head also tweeted breathlessly during the protests that the KKK “has been confirmed to be sighted on campus.” He urged students to stay away from windows in residence halls, before closing by reassuring them that he was “working with the MUPD, the state trooper and the National Guard.”
After scaring the shit out of people, Mr. Head deleted his tweet and apologized in a subsequent tweet “about the misinformation that I have shared through social media. In a state of alarm . . . I received and shared information from multiple incorrect sources, which I deeply regret.”
Talk about your Urkle moments. If young, ambitious, and excitable Mr. Head could blush so’s you’d notice, he probably would. Ur not. One thing’s for certain, if he had any balls, he’d resign after the clusterfuck he caused.
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